God moment

there is a
ferocious
tenderness
to my God
evident in the moments
of this morning

together moment

tender moments were spent
over the past 2 days
with a gathering of shepherds
who deliberately chose to ignore
the loud screaming of their agendas
in this season of Christmas busyness
and come away
to be still
to be silent
to listen

at one point I was asked
what I had learned
in this season of my life

and I shared
about the lion
and about the lamb

both of which reside within me

the lion
my adult self
my decision making self

the lamb
my still fearful
vulnerable
needing affection and support self

how I was discovering peace
when allowing the lion
and the lamb
to lie down together
freely
fearlessly

and how I know God
and yet am still very ignorant
how I see
and yet I do not see

shoot moment

the small child of Bethlehem
the unknown young man from Nazareth
the rejected preacher
the naked man on the cross
asks for our full attention

the work of our salvation
taking place in the midst of a world
that continues to shout, scream
and overwhelm us with its promises

but the promise is hidden in the shoot
that springs up from the stump
a shoot hardly anyone notices

a shoot shall sprout from the stump of Jesse
and from his roots a bud shall blossom
the Spirit of the Lord
shall rest upon him (Is 11:1,2)

discovering moment

while at a dinner party last evening
I was seated across the table from a woman
whom I had never before met

she was lovely looking
very elegant

she mentioned that she has 4 children
all married
a flock of grandchildren
and a scattering of great grandchildren
all living within a 3 mile radius of one another

when I commented about what a huge blessing that was
she went on to say that
she and one of her daughters now get together
every Wednesday evening
to go out for dinner and a movie together

and then she said
I am just getting to know my daughter
at her age of 54

my response was
that her daughter is getting to know her mom as well ..........

there was a tender pause
and then this beautiful lady said to me

I think it is time I got to know ..... me ........

this woman has led a privileged life
travelling
living in many different parts of the world
raising her family
supporting her husband
and is just discovering
that she lost herself somewhere in that process ........

a wife
a mom
a grandmother
a great grandmother
but
when all the labels are taken off
there is this uncertainty
a not knowing
who SHE is

and so
she asked if we could meet regularly
if I would help her discover herself

and I thought how kind of God
to arrange all this

this lady
in her winter season
wishes to journey into her own heart
and God wishes her to find Him along the way

wild moment

a few years ago
I was told I was like a wild stallion
who could not survive in a stall ...........
I needed to be free to be me ..........

then the other day
someone else sent me a note
saying I was like a wildflower
blooming in the crack of a cement driveway ..........

the wildness made me a tad concerned
can one be wild
and not be rebellious?

but as I ponder things
and read scripture
there is a wildness to God
that is very attractive
very appealing
very free ...........

very wild

listening moment

while studying scripture over the past few days
I have been struck by how 3 stories
the lost sheep
the lost coin
the lost son
all are really the same story

and because of that
I felt there must be something
in these words I am to see
to understand
to own
and live out

so out came the commentaries
the Greek dictionary open up on line
several translations sidebyside
insight was sought from a friend

I wrote pages of words ...........

and this morning
I realized
I had approached the living words of scripture
as Martha would have

working to understand

when all I really needed
was to sit
as Mary did

sit with the words
and listen

so busy filling my mind with the noise of knowledge
my heart was missing the whisper
the holy whisper

all He is asking
is to fold the wings of my intellect
into my heart
and listen

for that is a far better thing .............

dancing moment

the awakening soul within me
seeks not old mirrors
but rather windows of grace
which let me out of the box of my past
and invite me to dance on it's lid

desert moment

when we go to the desert
three things happen:
the voice of our soul
the voice of our Lord
and the voice of the devil
become very loud
and very clear

suddenly we are in a party of three

it is truly the emptiness of the desert
that helps us come to know
who we really are

ice moment

there was an unusual stillness to the trees this morning
it was only once I got up close
looked carefully
and gently touched
I could see that a thin layer of translucent ice
covered each branch
from tip to trunk

every now and then
a gentle breeze
whispered through

and here and there
this slight movement
caused a branch to
break and fall

what was once alive
now broken
and dead

simply because of a slight increase in weight
a weight the branch was not designed to carry

and this is the way it is with our hearts

almost overnight
a thin layer of ice can form
unseen by most

but this icy weight
can cause a heart to break

and what was once alive
..............

all it takes
is a thin layer ........

figless moment

He was being unreasonable. It was not the season for figs.
I saw him coming towards me, that man, Jesus. And I knew who he was, for he had come that way many times before. Often there had been large crowds with him of people clamouring to hear his every word, jostling one another just to catch a glimpse of him, to touch him. Other times, especially during fig season, small clusters of men or women would stop to rest in my shade and eat my sweet fruit. I heard much animated discussion about him in those days. Truth be told, with all I had seen and heard, I ought to have known better, But when he came towards me, hungry, looking for figs off season, my reaction was two fold. I wanted alternatively to gather my leaves tightly around me to hide my barrenness and to wave my branches wildly at him in protest. How could he be so unreasonable? I was indignant and stung that he would curse me, so unjustly, for my fruitlessness.
But now as I feel the sap drying in me, my leaves curling in the withering heat of the sun, I know that I, not he, was wrong. Was it the season for dancing for the lame man who sat beneath my branches? In the day that Jesus bid him get up and walk, he could have protested, "But Lord, I cannot. I am lame." Rather, he looked t Jesus, obeyed and his legs were made whole.
It was not a season of seeing for the blind man who shouted "Son of David! Have mercy on me!" He had no power of his own to produce sight. But Jesus drew aside his darkness, just as he drew aside my leaves and the man went away seeing.
And what of the story I heard recounted over and over by pilgrims breathless with excitement; the story of that man, three days dead, whom Jesus raised with a word? Tell me this: in the stench of his own decay, bound in grave clothes, can a man hear? Surely of all the rest, he was least able to bear fruit at Jesus' command. And yet, today he lives.
And I die.
What do these men have that I did not? What enabled them to respond to their Maker (surely I knew it even before now, that He is Maker of all) when I did not? Like me, they had no ability of their own to produce the fruit which He commanded. And yet each one of then bore fruit.
It can only be one thing. They knew they were not the source of their own healing, their own fruitfulness. He was. And they looked to and trusted His power, not their own lack. They surrendered to His word, instead of (like me) defending their own weakness. It was He who created in them what they could not create; He produced for them fruit out of season They only bore it, the fruit of His making.
I see it now.
He could have done the same with me.
"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (Jesus as recorded in John 15:4,5)

present moment

aware for some years now
the importance of being
"fully present"
to others
I am only now
gaining insight
into the importance of being
"fully present"
to myself

listen to my own rhythm
listen to my own silence
listen to my own questions
and hear the question underneath
inside
my questions

when the power was out the other day
I was struck by the difference in the silence
there was a depth
a surrounding
a comfort
in the silence minus the background hum
of all things electrical

there was nothing else that could be done
or heard
or seen
I could only be
fully present
to myself

connecting moment

a friend dropped in last evening
after a few moments of light talk
suddenly the conversation went deep
very deep
sharing
and pondering
and questioning
and confessing

producing a one-ness
a connecting
a joining

the body being the body

we had been close before
but this was new

like a ligament had been formed
connecting bone to bone
heart to heart

there was a fragility
in the vulnerability
that somehow produced a strength

what a privilege it is to be part of the body
what a wonder to be so connected

all while knowing
the connection
the heart to heart
goes horizontally
at the same moment
it goes vertically

Him
you
me

we

see moment

today
I simply
take a moment
open myself to the beauty around me
allow myself to see
and be stunned

kingdom moment

where there is hate,
let there be your love

where there is war
let there be peace

where there is uncleanness
let there be purity

where there is lust
let there be chastity

where there is violence
let there be meekness

where there is vengeance
let there be forgiveness

where there is wealth
let there be charity

where there is terror
let there be tranquility

where there is fear of death
let there be faith

where there is desperation
let there be peace

where there is sin
let there be grace

where there is selfishness
let there be giving

where there is darkness
let there be light

where there is sadness
let there be joy

where there is emptiness
let it be filled

where there is death
let there be life

where there is theft
let there be giving

where there is arrogance
let there be humility

where there is power
let there be caring

your kingdom come

wean moment

wean me Lord
from need
and want
so I may simply
be
with
you
..........

IS moment

"God is: Jesus is not dead.
Nothing can be going wrong
however it may look
so to hearts
unfinished in
childness"
George MacDonald

thirst moment

thinking about
how a thirst for knowledge
can dry up a spring
of spontaneous passion

causing a garden
to become
a desert wasteland

climbing moment

and so
the call is to
climb up the slope of my history
and throw myself courageously into the midst
of my brothers and sisters

"love your enemies
do good to those who hate you
bless those who curse you
pray for those who treat you badly"

love my enemies
do good to those who hate me
bless those who curse me
pray for those who treat me badly

midway moment

I am like an immature fetus
midway between my past and future
between things I know
and those I do not know
it isn't a comfortable situation
in fact
it hurts
I suffer from incompleteness
from blindness
from yearning
not yet made whole
not yet seeing clearly
merely flesh that has been God touched

God
and only God
is the answer to all my questions

night moment

there are tears that fall in the night
silent
unseen
unbidden


tears that soak the pillow of pain
of sadness
of loneliness


they come slowly
hesitantly
soundlessly


an admission
an acknowledgement
of a hidden truth


there is a release in the nakedness
a freedom in the vulnerability


the feet of hope
that had lost their dance
begin to move ............
to find a rhythm ......


these tears do not fall unnoticed

there is One who watches
who cares
who extends His arms
and asks


will you dance


with me ?