wild moment

the surf is rolling
crashing
untameable

offering up treasures from deep within

I see the wildness of my God
His power
strength

and His furious longing for His people

my eyes are filled with salt
a mixing of tears
His
mine

I am alive
and it is good

self moment

note to self:
forgiving someone who has lied,
betrayed
and broken trust with me
does NOT mean I must automatically trust them again

violent moment

"...to surrender to too many demands,
to commit oneself to too many projects,
to want to help everyone in everything
is to succumb to violence." -
C. S. Lewis

party moments

in a room filled with chatter
hearing nothing
longing for something real

looking around
wondering how much is illusion

skating on the surface
wishing to dig for gold

desiring to tear open the envelope of illusion
hoping something real will fall out

all these words floating about
just floating
not seeming to land anywhere

if nothing lands
nothing roots
nothing bears fruit

what has happened to us all
to cause us to float about
to flit in and out of each other's lives

to chatter
but no longer touch
to drink wine
not in remembrance
while never breaking bread

seems to be a larger emphasis on shaping the body
than caring for the soul

more interest in pleasuring self
than pleasuring Him

we used to harmonize
but the music of it all now seems rather discordant

seems like fun on the surface
but isn't it all rather empty .........
illusionary

alone
in a crowd

would be so lovely to kneel together
to sing together
to touch one another
to perhaps cry together
laugh together
to be real together
in fellowship

I miss that ...........

now
its just a crowd

I don't do crowds well

yesterday moment

yesterday brought an unexpected gift
a tender visit
with a trembling flower .........

a beautiful young woman
finding her heart
discovering her identity

giving herself permission to stand up
but also to fall

after years and years of being shaped by pain
she is learning how to stretch her arms wide
to lengthen her stride

while at the same time
discovering it is OK to stop doing
and simply be

we had seen each other from afar
over the past few years
but then she called
and asked to come together

and it was a wonderful privilege
to spend some moments with one another

I am not sure what God has in mind
for tomorrow
but
I am grateful
deeply grateful
for yesterday

chasm moment

the deepest chasm between two people
can be dug
with a shovel of unfair expectation
of one another

dexter moments

there are times God brings someone rare
someone deeply special
into our lives
to connect and weave together
sometimes the threads are woven tightly
sometimes loosely
but the weaving is a forever weaving

there is an instant hearing of the other's heartbeat
with a resonating to the rhythm of their song

Dexter was one of these rare and beautiful gifts

he entered our home a stranger
and before we even sat down
was family

we would talk together
and listen together
with a comfort in each other's silence

he too was a seer

he asked me never to say he lost his battle with cancer
and so I will not even ponder that

on Saturday he simply could no longer resist the call to "come"
he had been hearing his name being whispered for awhile now
it was that whispering that drew him home

I cannot imagine the loss his family feels
the emptiness in that chair around the table

I cannot imagine the loss his church feels
the unsettledness in the losing sight of their shepherd

I know how I feel
I am mixed with a rejoicing that Dexter has been released from his bed of pain
to dance with his Lord
and an angst in the losing of a friend
an awareness of the huge loss to this land
a missing of his laughter
his amazing Newfie sense of humor

the loss of having someone who speaks the same language
someone who never reached for the 911 button
when I shared what I was seeing
or hearing
or feeling

someone whom I hugely respected
but from whom I too felt respected

aaaaaaaaaaah Jesus
heaven is a much richer place now
another son has come home
and I am positive he is dancing to the tune of
well done, good and faithful servant

forever loved
forever missed
forever appreciated

touch moment

When all is washed away
and I am naked
and I can't find the answers to the joy or pain,
the pressure of His hand will still be there.

David Mattches