Sunday, December 27, 2009

community moment

to live in community
is to learn to walk alone in the desert
at night
and in tears

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

yes moment

those who say yes to God
must learn to live
between the polarities of
strength and vulnerability

ruth haley barton

Monday, December 21, 2009

hourglass moment

for several years now
I have been "seeing" an hourglass in the spirit
all of life contained in this hourglass

it is a lovely hourglass
pure crystal
and pure gold

I can almost hear it singing at times

and these days
I am seeing
its crystal again

this has been a tremendous year
a tremulous year
a tenuous year
a tender year

traveling in the valley for so many months
feeling the touch of the shadow
while feeling the strength in the pierced hand that gripped me tight

being separated from friends
and joined together with new friends

losing a community
in the midst of finding a new community

letting go of so much
while gaining immeasurably more

and as the grains of the sand of 2009
slip through the crystal neck
I am acutely aware of those who have stood with me
sat with me
sang to me
prayed for me
held me
cried with me
laughed with me
and loved me

some near by
some on the other side of the mountains
some across the waters

each one so unique

each one enriching my life
enlarging my spirit

each one adding a harmonizing note
to the song of me

my clay bears many fingerprints
some have pressed deep
some have gently touched
some simply brushed alongside
but I am a far better shaped piece of clay
because of each one

I am filled with thanks
for the gift of friendship

the ribbon of relationships

the privilege of being loved
and of loving

I know some of you read this blog
and I am always so touched that you do
and then take the time to write
to encourage
or simply to laugh with me
and sometimes to cry with me

this blog is bookended by two Davids

David D who got me started in all this
gave me the courage to believe there was value in my words
loved me enough to want to be connected to my daily moments

and David M
whom I met through this blog
and who now is a most precious brother
a poustinia dweller like me

and I think of so many others in between
some I have met
and some not

but I want you to know I appreciate you
and I value your journeys
each one

none of us know how many grains of sand are in our hourglass
but all of us know
the grains slip
one by one
through the crystal neck

at times they seem to slip faster
and at times slower

but they slip through nonetheless

and I am grateful

and thankful

and peaceful

and filled with love

and my heart overflows with joy

I am blessed

Thursday, December 10, 2009

with one another moment

The wolf will live with the lamb,
the panther lie down with the kid,
calf, lion and fat-stock beast together,
with a little boy to lead them.
The cow and the bear will graze,
their young will lie down together.
The lion will eat hay like the ox.
The infant will play over the den of the adder;
the baby will put his hand into the viper's lair.
No hurt, no harm will be done on all my holy mountain
for the country will be full of knowledge of Yahweh
as the waters cover the sea.
(Isaiah 11:6-9)

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

pearl moment

the pearl

begins its existence as an irritant
invading the home of an oyster
moving in where it is not invited
nor wanted
where it does not belong

it sneaks in through a tiny opening
just a crack

the oyster host does not welcome this invasion
the oyster is no longer comfortable in its own home
the oyster is no longer at ease

the oyster reacts
by slowly
steadily wrapping this irritant in a secretion of mother of pearl
until the irritant no longer irritates
but fits comfortably
and begins to dwell seurely with the oyster
protected and hidden in the oyster's own home

the oyster adjusts to welcome the pearl

the irritant is now a pearl
something of great beauty and great value
yet remains hidden in a secure place
until exposed to the world

it's very releasing bringing about the death of the one who caused it to be

and this is God's design

and how do we
do I
react to an irritant invading my ease

do I try to kick it out
shove it aside
most irritants in our lives come in the form of a person

and we,
during the invasion
in our discomfort
our loss of ease
we tend to forget this irritating person
is simply a pearl in disguise

and so we must choose how to react
do we coat this irritant with anger
hard words

or do we wrap what appears to be simply a piece of grit
in a mother of pearl coat of love
and grace
providing shelter and protection
while watching what God will do

and thus have the privilege of partnering
with Almighty God
in the birthing of a pearl
of great price

are we willing
am I willing
to die
to my own comfort
my own ease
so another may live

shoot moment

The small child of Bethlehem,
the unknown young man of Nazareth,
the rejected preacher,
the naked man on the cross,
he asks for my full attention.
The work of our salvation
takes place in the midst of a world
that continues to shout,
and overwhelm us with its claims and promises.
But the promise is hidden in the shoot that sprouts from the stump,
a shoot that hardly anyone notices
Henri Nouwen

Monday, November 30, 2009

praying moment

to pray
is to wait
for the God
who comes
Carlo Caretto

longing moment

Just as in earthly life
lovers long for the moment
when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other,
to let their souls blend in a soft whisper,
so the mystic longs for the moment
when in prayer
he can,
as it were,
creep into God.”
Soren Kierkegaard

Monday, November 23, 2009

wise moment

the wisdom of the present moment
sometimes means
to someone

Friday, November 13, 2009

child moment

a little child has
no knowledge
no power
no capacity
no independence
no survival skills
no defenses

and Jesus says

UNLESS you change
and become like a little child
you will not enter

and I have been wondering
how to undo all I have learned
give up all power
empty myself
allow myself to become dependent
be wide open
and vulnerable

and found myself striving
to do this

and the answer was always right in front of me

be still
and know
while being known

it is in His Presence
all but Him
the One and only
is swept away

the noise of the hurricane of busyness
must be stopped
in order
to hear

the whisper
that causes me
to be
like a child
with my Father

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

dance moment

there are tears that fall in the night

tears that wet the pillow of pain
of sadness
of loneliness

they come slowly

an admission
an acknowledgement
of a hidden truth

there is a release in the nakedness
a freedom in the vulnerability

the feet of hope
that had lost their dance
begin to move ...............
to find a rythm

these tears do not fall unnoticed

there is one who watches
who cares
who extends his arms
and asks

will you dance

with me?

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

broken moment

pierces deeper than any bullet
is like an IED buried in the soil of a person
exploding carnage
into anyone who might inadvertently trip the trigger

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

be moment

be still
and know
that I am God
be still
and know
that I am
be still
and know
be still

Friday, October 30, 2009

humble moment

Humility is the attitude of one who is like the soil.
Humility comes from the Latin word, humus, fertile ground.
The fertile ground is there,
taken for granted,
always there to be trodden upon.
It is silent,
dark and yet it is always ready to receive any seed,
ready to give it substance and life.
The more lowly
the more fruitful
because it becomes really fertile
when it accepts all the refuse of the earth.
It is so low that noting can soil it,
humiliate it;
it has accepted the last place and cannot go any lower.
In that position
nothing can shatter the soul's serenity,
its peace
and joy.
Anthony Bloom

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

new moment

one does not discover new lands
without consenting to lose sight of the shore
for a very long time
Andre Gide

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

silent moment

there is a stillness in the air
and in the land
this day

a crispness
in this valley between seasons

earlier I bundled up
to walk deep into the woods
to stand
among the quiet standing

leaves rained down
and landing

it was as if the land
was being soaked
with silent tears

and I thought of those
who cry alone
in the night

and I prayed for arms
to come 'round

a shoulder
to lean on

a hug

a wordless touch .........

Monday, October 12, 2009

messy moments

while making squash soup the other day
I found myself hesitating a bit
before plunging my hands into the gucky part
the part that contains the seeds
the seeds which carry new life

and I thought of ministering within the body
how it is sometimes necessary
to plunge into the gucky part
get our hands dirty
in order to reach
and free
the seed buried within

the seed that carries new life

Saturday, October 10, 2009

speech and silent moment

God the Father has only spoken one Word, his Son.
Sometimes we make music for the Lord in conversation --
for speech is a blessed gift.
Sometimes we rest together side by side, in the presence of the Word;
a deep sharing can then take place.
The divine Word will instruct us.
Perhaps what we all need is to listen a little more attentively
to the stirring of his Spirit within us,
that we may know the time to speak
and the time to be silent,
so that both speech and silence
will be used only for God’s glory

written by a Modanna House worker

Friday, September 25, 2009

tarshish moment

in Tarshish
one can have a wonderful religious career
without having to deal with God
eugene peterson

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

longing moment

longing to live in the truth of the unseen
not just survive the obvious

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

hidden moment

The tiny hand of the fearless child
can slip through the bars of the prison of egoism.
He is the one who can open the lock and set free.
And God hides himself in the child.

Jean Vanier

Monday, September 07, 2009

standing moment

she stands
in quiet solitude

with a silent shudder
in the midst of an unexpected coolness
her leaves begin to fall
slowly at first
then in a bit of a rush
laying out a blanket of poured out life

gnarled and grey
she stands

in a new nakedness
freshly vulnerable
one by one
she drops her branches
incapable of bearing their weight

aching in the open wound of great loss
she stands

no longer able to offer shade
or nourishment
she stands

facing an uncertain horizon

she stands

while entering a sacramental season of waiting
in acceptance of her approaching winter

Monday, August 31, 2009

killing moment

The bullet that kills is
only the final instrument of the hatred
that began being nurtured in the heart
long before the gun was picked up
Henri Nouwen

Friday, August 21, 2009

dew moment

Christians are like the several flowers in a garden
that have each of them the dew of heaven,
being shaken with the wind,
they let fall at each other's roots,
whereby they are jointly nourished,
and become nourishers of each other.
John Bunyan

so grateful for the dew that has nourished my roots ...........

Thursday, July 09, 2009

worship moment

The test and core of all life is worship.
All of us worship.
We worship!
Question is: what, who is the object of bowing worship?
The method of darkness is to instill fear --
to get worship!
What you fear you worship.
Who you fear,
there is the altar of your worship.

Martha Kilpatrick

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Ruth moment

As I travel I find so many women full of spiritual potential
who feel trapped by depression, disappointment, grief, shame and physical pain.
Yet when they look to the church for help
they often find that the patriarchal attitudes of the Old Testament are alive and well.
The church has failed
when it comes to helping women discover and implement their spiritual gifts.
Women's ministry has focused on trivial things
like fashion shows and recipes
when God desires to train His daughters to win souls, disciple new believers, start and run businesses, fund kingdom enterprises and transform communities.
We have ignored the message of the book of Ruth—
and as a result many women have remained spiritually barren
when it was God's intention that they become dangerous weapons that make the devil tremble.
Women please hear me.
Jesus has included you in His plan!
Allow Him to reveal to you how much He loves you
and how He desires to use you.
He wants you to leave a spiritual legacy,
just as Ruth did.
May you be filled with the same courage, faith and determination that marked her life.
J. Lee Grady

Monday, May 25, 2009

giving moment

THE GIVING TREE - by Shel Siverstein

"Once there was a tree and she loved a little boy" -
And so begins the story of a tree being happy
because she is able to make the boy happy.
At first the boy desires nothing but to climb on her branches,
eat her apples
and lie in her shade.
But as the boy grows,
so do his desires.
Because of the tree's love
she gives her apples for him to sell for money to have real fun,
her branches that he might build a house for a wife and family,
her trunk so he could build a boat and sail away from the boredom of life.
One day the prodigal returns to the tree that loves him.
By now she has given him everything:
all that remains of her is an old stump.
The boy,
now an old man,
needs only a quiet place to sit and rest.
And the giving tree gives once more.

Monday, May 18, 2009

gift moment

How do we make our deaths gifts for others?
Very often people's lives are destroyed,
or permanently wounded by the deaths of their relatives or friends.
We have to do whatever we can to avoid this.
When we are near death what we say to those who are close to us,
whether in spoken or in written words,
is very important.
When we express gratitude to them,
ask forgiveness for our shortcomings
and offer forgiveness for theirs,
and express our sincere desire that they continue their lives without remorse
but remembering the graces of our lives,
then our deaths can become true gifts.
Henri Nouwen

Friday, May 15, 2009

talk moment

Talk must always come from a place of silence
and not from a place of aggression and power

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

joy moment

Where there is no joy there can be no courage;
and without courage all other virtues are useless.
Edward Abbey

Love and joy help give us not only the will to persist through adversity,
but also to blossom,
to find meaning in life
and develop our potential as human beings

tear moment

You can draw near to God even though you cannot say a word.
A prayer may be crystallised in a tear.
A tear is enough water to float a desire to God.
Charles H. Spurgeon

Monday, May 11, 2009

Ultimately, we have just one moral duty;
to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves,
more and more peace,
and to reflect it onwards to others.
And the more peace there is in us,
the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.
Etty Hillesum

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

reality moment

when we idealize our community
the fall from the sky of our ideal
into the pit of reality
can be crushing

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

simple moment

I am more and more convinced
that the times we struggle to "find" God
are because we are not simple enough
in our approaching Him

Saturday, April 25, 2009

a pastor
a tired shepherd
a weary sojourner
with bloodied feet
from the States
has spent most of this week with me .......

he needed a hidden spot
to rest
to weep
to be seen
and be heard

he spoke of many things
but one statement ripped my heart to shreds ........

he has recently discovered
that while at seminary
he was raped of his intimacy with God
by religious theology .............

knowledge had become his lover

achieving position had displaced his passion

it was only as he dared to speak those words
the well of grief
and loss
and pain
and loneliness
was uncapped ...........

Sunday, April 19, 2009

tremble moment

Thus says the LORD:
"Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool;
what is the house that you would build for me,
and what is the place of my rest?
All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be,
declares the LORD.
But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble
and contrite in spirit
and trembles at my word."
(Isaiah 66:1,2; ESV)

Friday, April 17, 2009

anorexic moment

The anorexic body

Have we become an anorexic body?

Do we see ourselves as spiritually fat when in fact we are wasting away?
Have we lost the taste for temple food after years of filling up on fast food?
Is the truth no longer palatable because it might offend?

Anorexia kills slowly

One by one internal organs quietly stop functioning
The heart slows and eventually stops
Lungs become deprived of oxygen
Life sustaining blood no longer flows throughout the body
Gangrene sets in
Members are rendered useless and require amputation

Anorexia kills silently

Whose mirror are we looking into
Whose reflection do we see
Whose reflection do we seek

Anorexia kills

Have we become an anorexic body?

Thursday, April 09, 2009

love moments

At the end of Jesus' life,
he was stripped naked,
scourged at the pillar,
and so poor
neither the earth nor the wood of the cross
offered Him a place to lay His head.
God was homeless.
Christ had nowhere to rest His head except His own shoulder.
That's because Jesus was drunk with love.
Catherine of Siena

Saturday, April 04, 2009

fog moment

I know a man who lives in Paris.
His wife has Alzheimer's.
He was an important businessman--his life was filled with busyness.
But he said that when his wife fell sick, "I just could not put her in an institution, so I keep her.
I feed her. I bathe her."
I went to Paris to visit them
and this businessman who had been very busy all his life said,
"I have changed. I have become more human."
I got a letter from him recently.
He said that in the middle of the night his wife woke him up.
She came out of the fog for a moment, and she said,
"Darling, I just want to thank you for all you're doing for me."
Then she fell back into the fog.
He said, "I wept and I wept."
Jean Vanier

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

church moment

during a time of prayer
with some friends
God was speaking with me about church
He did not call it

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

touch moment

Touch, yes, touch, speaks the wordless words of love.
We receive so much touch when we are babies and so little when we are adults.
Still, in friendship touch often gives more life than words.
A friend's hand stroking our back,
a friend's arms resting on our shoulder,
a friend's fingers wiping our tears away,
a friend's lips kissing our forehead ---
these are true consolation.
These moments of touch are truly sacred.
They restore,
they reconcile,
they reassure,
they forgive,
they heal.
Everyone who touched Jesus

and everyone whom Jesus touched
were healed.
God's love and power went out from him (see Luke 6:19).
When a friend touches us with free, nonpossessive love,
it is God's incarnate love that touches us
and God's power that heals us.
Henri Nouwen

take a moment
touch someone .........

Monday, March 23, 2009

today moment

Then there are the seasons of the body. Sooner or later, something will happen to me - an accident, sickness or disease will unfold, or I will just become weaker, slower and unable to read or write, unable to give talks.
To tell you the truth, I do not ponder too much on tomorrow. Live today well. Each season has its beauty. I have the strength for today and hopefuly too for tomorrow. Why waste time worrying or even questioning? Write me a letter when I am 86 - I'll tell you then what I feel!
Jean Vanier

Saturday, March 21, 2009

80 moments

one of the persons who has had a huge impact on my spiritual life has just turned 80 ........
he is one whose dash between born and died is richly flavorful with Christ ........

Arriving at 80
I suppose arriving at 80 is more symbolic than anything else....
Of course, I'm taking care. I get up later, go to bed earlier, and sleep after lunch. So I feel pretty well. I feel happy. Yes happy to be alive, happy to be part of my community and happy to eat every day (when I am not travelling) in my home with Albert and Nathalie (who is blind), with Cariosa (from Pincher Creek, Alta.), with Monique (who speaks very little, but each word is a pearl) and with other people.
Jean Vanier

Friday, March 20, 2009

beautiful moment

I also believe that in each person
under all the hardness
the hate
the fear
and the anguish
there is a little child
waiting for the love he or she never had.
Human beings are truly beautiful
but so many do not know that they are beautiful.
-Jean Vanier

Thursday, March 19, 2009

fallen moment

yet not one of them will fall to the ground

apart from the will of your Father

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

honest moment

Being with a friend in great pain is not easy.
It makes us uncomfortable.
We do not know what to do or what to say,
and we worry about how to respond to what we hear.
Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear
than out of our care for the person in pain.
Sometimes we say things like
"Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday,"
"You will soon be your old self again,"
"I'm sure you will get over this."
But often we know that what we're saying is not true,
and our friends know it too.
We do not have to play games with each other.
We can simply say:
"I am your friend, I am happy to be with you."
We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence.
Sometimes it is good to say:
"You don't have to talk.
Just close your eyes.
I am here with you,
thinking of you,
praying for you,
loving you."
Henri Nouwen

Friday, March 13, 2009

present moment

when fully present with a friend
the lasting grace of our presence
will remain in our absence

Thursday, March 12, 2009

thirsting moment

intil you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you
you can’t begin to know who He wants to be for you
or who He wants you to be for Him
Mother Teresa

Monday, March 09, 2009

growing moment

it has been proven to this limping pilgrim
that just as trees grow in silence
faith grows in the dark

Monday, March 02, 2009

penetrating moment

trees can grow well in rocky soil
but they only do this
by finding crevices in the rocks
where the roots are able to penetrate deeply

Sunday, March 01, 2009

is it moment

when Jesus calmed the storm, did anyone think to offer Him a blanket
a warming bowl of soup

when He fed the 5000, did any one make sure He had a piece of the bread

when He washed the feet of His closest friends, did any one of them think to wash His feet

He never asked his friends asked for much ......... only to keep watch with Him

He is still asking today ......... is there any one who will simply keep watch with Him ......
simply be with him – not DO for him, simply BE with him ......

even this day, on the Sabbath day He has provided ........ is there any one who will quietly spend even a few hours
watching with the One who watches
beholding the One who beholds

is there any one who will wash His feet with their tears
anoint His head with their praise

is there any one who would dare to push through the throng of the religious
and simply lay their face upon His bloodied pierced feet

do you love Me?
one of you will betray Me

do you love Me?
before the cock crows three times, you will deny me

do you love Me?

is it I, Lord

am I awake

Thursday, February 26, 2009

content moments

I am content to be still in this season
spending all my moments
with a man of sorrows
and acquainted with grief

Saturday, February 21, 2009

words moment

life threatening
heart failure
enlarged chambers
complete bed rest
stop everything
avoid stress
closely monitor
critical cardiac care
learning to live within the parameters of a new language
without getting lost in the words
without losing the me of me
and being defined by this new language
it is a fight worth fighting ..........

Thursday, February 12, 2009

time moment

this has been a very humbling time ............
a very beautiful tender time
a very powerful time
a very broken time
a time of being touched by the shadow in the valley
and a time of watching the shadow slowly dissipate into the light ........

a time of being touched
of being held
of being cared for by strangers and by friends

a time of strangers becoming friends through their care

a time of being still
and of a deep knowing in the stillness

a time of needing to say all the unsaid things

a time of being alone but not lonely

a time of tasting the fragility of life this side of heaven

a time of hearing my name being loudly called
in a whisper
and of embracing the whispered call

a time of worship
in a time of abject weakness

a time of being served
and of learning to welcome the service and the servers

a time of being completely dependent upon others
for absolutely everything

a time of letting go of all pride
of having all control fall away

a time of being willing to be seen helpless and bare by a community
and of being surrounded by a community willing to see me helpless and bare

there is no fear in this time
no anxiousness
no worry

there is a freedom in letting go
in receiving
in being touched
in being vulnerable
in asking for help

God is in this time
His Presence IS this time
His Son and Spirit indwell this time
in the secret place of His tent He has hidden me (ps 27:5)

there is an unheard song being birthed in this time
an untried melody

yet to be formed chords
words not yet spoken

and so I release my heart
my soul
my body
my spirit
to dance to the new rhythm of this time

and I wait ..........

in stillness
and in knowing

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

church moment

How baffling you are, oh church, and yet how I love you!
How you have made me suffer and yet how much I owe you!
I should like to see you destroyed and yet I need your presence.
You have given me so much scandal and yet you have made me understand sanctity.
I have seen nothing in the world more devoted to obscurity, more compromised, more false and I have touched nothing more pure, more generous, more beautiful.
How often I have wanted to shut the doors of my soul in your face and how often have I prayed to die in the safety of your arms.
No, I cannot free myself from you, because I am you, although not completely.
And, where should I go?
Carlo Carretto

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Friday, January 30, 2009

leading moment

the difference between ambition and true leadership is this:
ministry is not a call to lead,
but to die.
Francis Frangipane

Monday, January 26, 2009

hearing moment

Once there was a man who dared God to speak.
Burn the bush like You did for Moses, God. And I will follow.
Collapse the walls like You did for Joshua, God. And I will fight.
Still the waves like You did on Galilee, God. And I will listen.
So the man sat by a bush,
near a wall,
close to the sea
and waited for God to speak.
And God heard the man, so God answered.
He sent fire, not for a bush, but for a church.
He brought down a wall, not of brick, but of sin.
He stilled a storm, not of the sea, but of a soul.
And God waited for the man to respond.
And God waited………
And God waited……….
And God waited………
But because the man was looking at bushes, not hearts;
bricks not lives,
seas not souls,
he decided that God had done nothing.
Finally he looked to God and asked, 'God, have You lost Your power?'
And God looked at the man and said, 'Man, have you lost your hearing?'

author unknown

Friday, January 23, 2009

beholding moment

By being filled with the Spirit we are transformed,
and by beholding we become mirrors.
You always know when a man has been beholding the glory of the Lord,
you feel in your inner spirit that he is the mirror of the Lord's own character.
Beware of anything which would sully that mirror in you;
it is nearly always a good thing,
the good that is not the best.
Oswald Chambers

Thursday, January 22, 2009

love moment

there is a silent "being with"
an absence of whir
a stillness of waiting, resting
a leaving behind of all words
a remaining with God alone
in an act of love

Saturday, January 17, 2009

hand moment

this has been an interesting week
filled with the unexpected
filled with tender fragile moments
filled with powerful revelation
filled with opportunities to flee or to stand
filled with questions
I wish I could say filled with answers
but they too are starting to come ...........

in the bitter cold of yesterday
there was such a warm sight ......
the deer poked her head through the trees
and this time she had her young one with her ......
they carefully, tentatively entered the yard
the young one staying very close to the side of its mom
they broke the trail together ........
entering new territory together
finding food together

that is sort of how I feel .........
there is a young fragile part of me
entering new territory
hand in hand with my Father
the breaking of the path is tender
but there is food to be found
food that will enable growth ....
and I am not alone
there is a hand holding me ...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

ordinary moment

Jesus invites me to come to His table
at the very moment He comes to my table
in all its ordinariness
to break bread
and drink wine
bringing radiance to the ordinary by His Presence
and I can only speak His name in a whisper
lest the earth should tremble
my soul offering a quiet loving glance toward Him

love walks a straight line from this moment to the cross


Saturday, January 10, 2009

interesting moments

yesterday was an interesting day

a day of testing
being poked and prodded
pushed and invaded
and I am grateful
despite the discomfort of the invasion
but was struck by the appearance of the day

I realize I am somewhat old school
of another generation than most
and I am glad we are far removed from the starched, stand up by themselves, uniforms
and perfectly shaped caps set just so on top of perfectly shaped hair
but there is something about how one dresses
that filters down into how one feels about oneself
about what it is we do ........

and to be surrounded by jeans
topped by not so clean looking sweaters
hair falling all over the place
scruffy boots
heavy sighing
unhappy faces
sharp voices
weary attitudes
it all just made me want to open a window
spruce the place up
pick up the files that had fallen off the cabinet onto the floor
empty the overflowing trash
change the sheet on the exam table ..........

I know everyone is overworked ....
and yet ....
something is out of whack here .......

where is the professionalism
the pride in the work of our hands

it is very very good the white coat idolizing is over
but frankly
a white coat would have been a comfort yesterday

I truly am grateful for their help .........

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

living moment

in order to live the life God yearns for us to have,
we must let go of where we are now
and what we love
in order to live into the bigger place
to which God is calling us.
We have to be willing to endure chaos
and not know where it will all end
in order to experience new life.
Valerie K. Isenhower and Judith A. Todd
Living into the Answers

Saturday, January 03, 2009

moment moments

our whole life consists of a series of moments
in His Presence
we live a moment at a time
but only some moments we live fully
and that is sad
for each moment
is filled with Him
His power
His breath
His life
He alone knows the numbers of our moments
His hand holds them
we alone waste them

Thursday, January 01, 2009

listening moment

long ago
an ordinary man named John
laid his head
upon the breast of Jesus
and listened
to the heartbeats of God