Monday, March 31, 2014

ordinary moment

There’s nothing in this world that’s normal — there’s only growing blind to the glory.
We don’t need more things. We need more meaning. 

Friday, March 28, 2014

thoughtful moments

 who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing

I am who God says I am and not what I label myself

feeling my tears better enables me to feel the pain of others

just some random thoughts while fully living each moment of this day

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

wrecked moment

yesterday was tough ....

reading about how "the waste"
aborted babies
are simply thrown in the trash
and burned
to help heat the hospital
the hospital
where life is supposed to be valued

this was in England
but I wonder
if it does not happen here as well ...

and then
to learn of the violence
taking place
behind a closed door

because of drugs
that saved a life
but altered a brain

and to be in the midst of the weeping
of the brokenness
of the fear
the despair

the sun is shining brightly today
the air crisp
and yet
the fingers of darkness
encroach upon its very borders ...

and here I sit
drinking coffee
eating porridge
bubbled in my own world
with the choice
to hear
or not
the screams all around me

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Sunday, March 16, 2014

vacuum moment

for months I was dissatisfied with the performance of my central vac ...
it was heavy to push and left behind almost as much as was there before ..
the right sounds were heard
the right action was being taken
but good results simply were not there ..

finally I called one who knew how it should all work
one who knew how it was designed
and he came to take a look ...

as all the working parts were hidden inside its casing
the outer shell had to come off ..
and this revealed that some parts were not in their proper place
some parts were broken
and things were not properly aligned ...

that which was broken was fixed
that which was out of place was placed properly
that which was out of alignment was aligned

the casing replaced

the plug inserted into a power source

and the thing practically took off by itself ...
I was just along for the ride!

just like in the spiritual  ...

there can be hidden things broken
things out of alignment
things miss-placed
and it is only when we come to our Maker
the One Who designed us
and allow Him to look inside
and fix
and align
and then plug us back into His power source ...
we discover that we are simply along for the ride ..

He is the One Who does the work
and when He does it, it is done thoroughly ...

so, I wonder if
when we find ministry is hard work
we are tired of "pushing"
tired of poor results
could it be because there is a need to be checked out inside ..

even if everything looks and sounds to be alright 
when we see poor results
when we get tired in our well doing
is it time to allow Holy Spirit to take off our casing
our glittering image
and poke around inside a bit???

just a thought ...

Monday, March 10, 2014

taste moment

in our surrender
we will taste the death of the soul 
when we are asked to go a way that is against our strong desire

Thursday, March 06, 2014

prayer moment

prayer is not a matter of my calling in an attempt to get God's  attention
 but of my listening to the call of God ...
in prayer, it is God reaching out to me, speaking to me ...
when I do have sonething to say, it should be a response to His initiative...
the question of whether or not or how God answers prayer is moot ,
the real question is
do I answer,
do I respond to His always open invitation ????

was reading psalm 78:8
and was struck again by the fact our hearts are a garden, His garden,
His soil and how our hearts, just as the soil, have to be prepared to receive Him ..
as soil has to be prepred to receive a seed ..

and :29
God gave the people what they craved and lusted after ... for a time
and then He gave them His wrath

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

lent moment

A Lenten Prayer
The Lenten season begins. It is a time to be with you, Lord, in a special way, a time to pray, to fast, and thus to follow you on your way to Jerusalem, to Golgotha, and to the final victory over death.
I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.

I know that Lent is going to be a very hard time for me. The choice for your way has to be made every moment of my life. I have to choose thoughts that are your thoughts, words that are your words, and actions that are your actions. There are not times or places without choices. And I know how deeply I resist choosing you.

Please, Lord, be with me at every moment and in every place. Give me the strength and the courage to live this season faithfully, so that, when Easter comes, I will be able to taste with joy the new life that you have prepared for me. Amen.

pilgrimage moment

our pilgrimage of love, begins and deepens as we hear God murmur within out hearts: I love you just as you are. I so love you that I come to heal you and give you life. Do not be afraid. Open your hearts.

I so needed to hear these words, right this moment ...

yesterday afternoon was sad and shocking
and then to come home and find that threatening note from my sister ...

the war between light and darkness is fierce ...
very fierce

I know that the only power the enemy has over me is what I allow him to have
but knowing this does not lessen the pain ...

I actually felt the ugliness of whatever spirit is operating through my sister as I read her words ..
I actually felt the stinging of the gnostic spirit operating yesterday afternoon ..

so much pain ...

my mouth is filled with an ocean of salt from unshed tears ..

and I again focus on|

our pilgrimage of love, begins and deepens as we hear God murmur within out hearts: I love you just as you are. I so love you that I come to heal you and give you life. Do not be afraid. Open your hearts.

and I confess that I find it very very hard to pray for my sister ...

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

turkey moment

all creatures great and small
the Lord God made them all

 Displaying photo.JPG

just some are more appealing than others,
to my eyes in any case ...

and yet
I marvel at this huge bird

his colors
the pattern of his feathers
his persistence
the way he tucks a foot up
one at a time
way up into his belly feathers
and yet maintains perfect balance
on one leg

anyone can have a guard dog
we seem to have adopted a guard turkey

he stands silent
sentinal like
by the deck door

I love the kids reaction

Andrew: catch him, skin him and cook him up
Jacob: keep him as a pet so I can play with him
James: it is just not right to catch any wild animal .....

has been a fun time ....

Monday, March 03, 2014

looking back moment

if soul touches something, even if it was alive in the Spirit originally, if the soul touches it, it’s death. That’s the difference between soul and spirit; life or death, what the soul does is death.

still deeply impacted by these words. ......

looking back into events, people, ministries ....
into me ...

brings into greater focus the need for separation ...
with guarding the heart during the separation ..

reading Ecclesiastes this morning about times and seasons ..
"a time to hate"
it is always a time to hate sin, hate evil ....

loved our fellowship gathering yesterday ...
it is so obvious there is an undercurrent of something so unusual happening...
every now and again I can feel it bubble, just beneath the surface ..
even Ken mentioned that yesterday

Kent's reaction upon seeing me was "interesting" ....
personally I was happy to see him and KNOW there no longer is any bleeding .
sad "tho to hear about Henry ...
such a strong and vital man, now bent over and weak ..
with "holes in his head" .....

Sunday, March 02, 2014

aha moment

if soul touches something, even if it was alive in the Spirit originally, if the soul touches it, it’s death. That’s the difference between soul and spirit; life or death, what the soul does is death.

I have been seeing this. feeling this and understanding this ... and yet unable to express it clearly 
and this morning another said it for me .... how very very kind of God ...

on another note:

it is interesting that this gentleman who sliced me so deeply is coming to speak at our fellowship today ...  causing me to think again about the little, but powerful, book ... crucified by Christians ..
the wisdom in its pages has helped me in the past, helped me to walk through a wounding
and remain whole, helped guard my heart against any seed of bitterness, helped me escape the clutches of rejection ... and so I have been again pondering all that I learned between page 1 and "the end" ...... so profoundly important to take everything right back to the root and hear God ask " do you believe I love you?".  It is only in the KNOWING I am loved that I am able to accept the "stuff" of this journey, look deep into it to find and hear Jesus and walk out whole..... maybe bent over a bit for awhile, but whole nonetheless.

YES, Lord, I believe.
thank You.