yesterday's moment

spent some time yesterday
in an interesting house
newish physically
pleasant looking
but boy, was it hard to breathe inside
it was as if this house was an old old old house
a house that has been shut up for many years
the windows never opened
the door always closed
there was a staleness
a musty smell and feeling
the air was still and old, used up
all the correct stuff going on
with all the correct words spoken and sung
but there was this oldness
this staleness
a sitting in yesterday's air
locked in yesterday's moments
and I am not at all sure a fresh wind would be welcome
there was a comfortableness wrapped around everyone's shoulders
like clothes that have been worn forever
and now simply fit like skin
it was cold
and after a very short while
I was shaking
from the inside out
and the outside in
I left
and silently wept ........

star moment

a rich man travelled in a finely appointed carriage
with lanterns on each corner of his vehicle
to light the road around and ahead.
He went his way in satisfaction and security,
assured that his wealth provided him with a good life.
One day along the road
the rich man passed a poor peasant who had no carriage to carry him
and no lamp to light his way.
Yet while the rich man pitied the poor peasant
who had no money to buy all the creature comforts,
the poor peasant could see the stars
which the rich man missed
because he was blinded by his lamps .........
Soren Kieregaard

dignity moment

there was a tenderness yesterday
a quiet encounter with grace
some holy moments

the time had come for a pastor friend to leave
the pasture he had been tending for ten years .......

this was man's decision
not God's ...........

the board
in their wisdom
asked their shepherd to leave
and rather than fight
he pulled up his tent pegs
and acquiesced ......

he agreed to leave after one final service

anyone who wished to attend
was invited to this service

we were told there would be communion available

the pastor spoke a bit from Nehemiah,
one of his heroes

then called us each by name to come forward
when he personally served us communion
as individuals or families
while speaking a word over each one
with tears streaming down his face

there was a river around the altar
a river of salty water

and so
with quiet dignity
deep humility
and abounding grace
he released that pasture
to the care of man ..........

michael moment

this past Sunday was "mother's day" ..........

it is such a privilege to be a mother
I am so blessed by my children .....
they each are unique
and each so very beautiful inside and out
so tender
and so strong ...............
my love for them is deep

even in this though
there is a Michael sized hole within me
impossible to fill
but around which
I am building a garden .........

more moments

and I have come to understand
our biggest fig leaf
is Christianity

this is the leaf we most often hide behind
when
naked
frightened

three words
fear
nakedness
hiding

we are a fearful people

where are you?
those words cause us to run
to hide

and escape into "Christianity"

enfolding moment

there was a moment
by a tree
Adam made a decision
and was no longer enfolded in God
in the chill of his sudden nakedness
he searched for fig leaves

there was another moment
by a tree
Mary stood
and watched her son
enfolded in the sins of the world
my sins
he too felt the chill of the absence of God
but did not search for fig leaves

interesting
to me in any case
that it was a fig tree
in full leaf
that Jesus caused to wither at the root

it's too easy to reach for fig leaves

discerning moment

discernment is God's call to intercession
never to fault finding

Oswald Chambers

sitting moment

each person
sits next
to their own
pool of tears

writing moments

writing is like sitting down
pen in hand
and opening a vein
enabling a transfusion from writer to reader

sometimes it is the vein of fear that must be opened
because that is where the life is flowing

separate moment

each string of a guitar is separate
alone
even while quivering with the same song ..............

sad moment

I am saddened in the knowledge
that so many find it easy to carve 2 days out of their packed schedules
to attend a prophetic conference
in the hopes of hearing a personal "word" from God
and yet
these same folks
find it so hard
if not impossible
to simply take some moments
each day
to sit with God
listen
and hear from Him directly ........

calling moment

Love is calling me ....
by name

to a place of radical surrender
filling the rooms in my soul
those places
that still lived in underground anguish

answer moment

don't search for answers which cannot be given now
because we are not yet able to live them
live the questions now
perhaps some day in the future
we will gradually
without even noticing it
live our way into the answer

optional moment

if we do not transform our pain
we will surely transmit it

here moment

and He departed from our sight
that we might return to our heart
and there find Him
for He departed
and behold
He is here

St. Augustine

to run from real life crisis into an escape from fear is to surely create an idol to save you.
we escape reality and run to feel good.
what we use to feel good, that is the altar of another god.
our crisis of danger is never the visible situation.
the only real trouble is separation from the Lord Himself as a real being
and the making of a silent substitute,
cold and unanswering.

martha kilpatrick

winter moments

when we are hurt
we tend to close in on ourselves
it is winter
the ground becomes hard
and sometimes winter lasts a long time

jean vanier

wild moment

the surf is rolling
crashing
untameable

offering up treasures from deep within

I see the wildness of my God
His power
strength

and His furious longing for His people

my eyes are filled with salt
a mixing of tears
His
mine

I am alive
and it is good

self moment

note to self:
forgiving someone who has lied,
betrayed
and broken trust with me
does NOT mean I must automatically trust them again

violent moment

"...to surrender to too many demands,
to commit oneself to too many projects,
to want to help everyone in everything
is to succumb to violence." -
C. S. Lewis