love moment

I have only such a small portion of time
in which to love
and be loved .........

owning moment

owning our story can be hard
but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it

embracing our vulnerabilities is risky
but not nearly as dangerous as giving up
on love
and belonging
and joy
the experiences that make us the most vulnerable

only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness
will we discover the infinite power of our life

Brene Brown

cancer moment

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend
who has been diagnosed with breast cancer

she quite quickly after the diagnosis
decided not to have surgery or any conventional treatment
and instead went to some centre in Arizona
that teaches about the correlation between diet and disease ...........

after 3 weeks there
my friend came back
armed with tons of literature
and a strong determination
to rigidly follow this new way of eating ............

this was in August

yesterday I spent time with the shell of my friend
she has now lost 30 pounds and was very thin to begin with -
her color is grey
her hair is limp
her eyes are dull
and she is listless
but she still believes this is the journey God has laid out before her ...........

I shared "the question" with her
and she was rocked .......

I asked her if she was at peace
or simply worn out
and she was unable to find an answer

everything within me believes she is dying
and I am not sure this is God's will for her at this time ....

do I speak
do I stay quiet

is staying quiet loving her
is speaking loving her

sometimes
or perhaps really most times
it is hard to figure out what this thing called love is
and how to do it

sometimes too it is hard to simply receive it

supply moment

the supply of bread
the fullness of the Spirit
comes on the other side of midnight