cancer moment

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend
who has been diagnosed with breast cancer

she quite quickly after the diagnosis
decided not to have surgery or any conventional treatment
and instead went to some centre in Arizona
that teaches about the correlation between diet and disease ...........

after 3 weeks there
my friend came back
armed with tons of literature
and a strong determination
to rigidly follow this new way of eating ............

this was in August

yesterday I spent time with the shell of my friend
she has now lost 30 pounds and was very thin to begin with -
her color is grey
her hair is limp
her eyes are dull
and she is listless
but she still believes this is the journey God has laid out before her ...........

I shared "the question" with her
and she was rocked .......

I asked her if she was at peace
or simply worn out
and she was unable to find an answer

everything within me believes she is dying
and I am not sure this is God's will for her at this time ....

do I speak
do I stay quiet

is staying quiet loving her
is speaking loving her

sometimes
or perhaps really most times
it is hard to figure out what this thing called love is
and how to do it

sometimes too it is hard to simply receive it