inside moments

Parker Palmer:
"a leader must take special responsibility for what is going on inside him or herself
lest the act of leadership create more harm than good."

when able to claim our experiences as our own
and acknowledge the ways they have shaped us
then we are in a position to take responsibility for ourselves
rather than be driven by our unconscious patterns of manipulating
and controlling reality

most often our reactions are more connected to the past
than to what is actually going on in the present

one can only say to God
I recognize what I am now
and I am none other than what I am -
whatever it is that most needs to be done in my life
You will have to do ..........

in the realization that it is not about fixing
but about letting go
life is birthed
and freedom tasted

choice moment

the choice

continue the unpacking
or waste these next few hours
being still
being quiet
listening
allowing myself to be centred
and rediscover His rhythm

I have nothing to offer God
except my choice to be with Him
and that is a choice
that no one but Him
is likely to put any value on

take me from the tumult of things
into Your Presence
and there
show me what I am
and what You destined me to be
and then
hide me from Your tears ..............

interrupted moment

An Unfinished Sermon
Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders;
make the most of every opportunity.
COLOSSIANS 4:5

My friend and pastor Denny Denson was in the middle of a sermon one Sunday morning
when a young man
he had been witnessing to for months
slipped into the back of the church.
The young man was a victim of crack cocaine
and had more than once tried to get off the drug,
promising to someday attend our church.
When Denny saw him walk in that morning,
he was hopeful and excited that he had come.
After a few minutes
the young man got up and walked back outside.
Denny understood at once what he needed to do.
He stopped in the middle of his sermon
and asked the congregation to go to prayer.
With that,
he followed the man outside
and caught up with him a block from the church.
After perhaps fifteen minutes
the two of them came back inside with good news.
The young man had finally accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior.
The remainder of the service was spent in worship.
Denny never finished his sermon!

Are you willing to be interrupted for the sake of someone who needs the Lord?
Michael Card

gun moment

Theophane, a Cistern monk, relates this story:

“I saw a monk working alone in the vegetable garden.
I squatted down beside him and said, “Brother, what is your dream?”
He just looked straight at me. What a beautiful face he had.
“I would like to become a monk.” he answered
“But Brother, you are a monk aren’t you?”
“I’ve been here for 2 years but I still carry a gun” he drew a revolver from the holster under his robe.
It looked so strange, a monk carrying a gun.
“And they won’t, are you saying they won’t let you become a monk until you give up your gun?”
“No, it’s not that. Most of them don’t even know I have it, but I know.”
“Well then, why don’t you give it up”.
I guess I have had it so long. I’ve been hurt a lot and I’ve hurt a lot of others. I don’t think I would be comfortable without this gun.”
“But you seem pretty uncomfortable with it.”
“Yes, pretty uncomfortable, but I have my dream.”
“Why don’t you give me the gun?” I whispered.
I was beginning to tremble.
He did, he gave it to me. His tears ran down to the ground and then he embraced me.

Most of us have a gun, some way of protecting ourselves and making ourselves feel safe, hidden under the robe of our persona.

Are we too comfortable with it to hear God whispering, “Why don’t you give me the gun?”

Will we hand it over and let our tears run to the ground?

shepherd moment

in Israel

shepherds go in front

leading their sheep

in Britain

shepherds drive their sheep

from behind .......

interesting ........

dance moment

we are all connected

and a beautiful dance emerges between us

when we allow it

friend moment

an artist needs a relationship with a world that is without words

a quiet world of warmth and beauty

of images

and colors

and sensory perceptions

that world is shy and retreats easily

it is a friend

and wants to be treated as a friend

hugging moment

I spent some special moments with a friend this morning .......
talking about many things
deep things
not time filling fluff ......

the subject of hugging came up somehow
the dangers
the benefits
the rules nowadays ...........

and this wonderful gentle man said the following

For a woman it's even more significant;

it's her origin,

a wrapping back into her place of birth,

Adam's chest

it has been a long time since I have heard or felt anything quite so beautiful

come moment

Come unto Me
Matthew 11:28

hidden moment

if we don't have a hidden life with God

our public life for God cannot bear fruit

Henri Nouwen

call moment

Calls are essentially questions.
They aren’t questions you necessarily need to answer outright;
they are questions to which you need to respond,
expose yourself,
and kneel before.
You don’t want an answer you can put in a box and set on a shelf.
You want a question that will become a chariot to carry you across the breadth of your life.
Gregg Levoy

lustful moment

there is a spiritual lust
addicting one to the feeling of God's Presence
rejoicing in it
instead of His true Presence ..........

chasing the wind and ever seeking the new thing
while never knowing the satisfaction of the person of the Lord Jesus
because of an obsession with feeling Him

complex moment

I keep saying to myself that I want a simple life

yet regularly meander off that path into complexity

another email moment

Many of the things happening inside of me seemed too shameful to talk about out loud. Laid low by what has happening at (my church) I did not have the energy to put a positive spin on anything ....... beyond my luminous images of Sunday mornings I saw the committee meetings, the numbing routines and the chronically difficult people who took up a large part of my time. Behind my heroic image of myself I saw my tiresome perfectionism, my resentment of those who did not try as hard as I did and my huge appetite for approval. I saw the forgiving faces of my family left behind every holiday for the last fifteen years while I went to conduct services for other people and their families.
Above all I saw that my desire to draw as near to God as I could had backfired on me somehow Drawn to care for hurt things, I had ended up with compassion fatigue. Drawn to a life of servant hood I had ended up a service provider Drawn to marry the Divine Presence I had ended up estranged .... Like the bluebirds that sat on my windowsills pecking at the reflections they saw in the glass I could not reach the greenness for which my soul longed. For years I had believed that if I just kept at it the glass would finally disappear. Now for the first time I wondered if I had devoted myself to an illusion...........
BTB

call moment

the call of God is like the call of the sea

no one hears it but the one who has the nature of the sea in him

Oswald Chambers