Thursday, November 13, 2008

ambushed moment

today I have been ambushed by longing

what if I dare to touch the place of longing and desire within me,
allow myself to really feel how deep it goes
only to discover that those desires cannot be met -
what do I do with myself then -
how will I live with desire that is awake and alive
rather than asleep and repressed
can I,
like Bartimaeus
reach deep within,
touch the place of fundamental human need
and cry out from that place -
Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me!
will Jesus hear above all the other voices clamoring for his attention
am I willing to embarrass those who surround me
by shouting out my honest expression of need
and thus capture Jesus' attention
will I allow His question
"what do you want me to do for you"
bring me face to face with my vulnerability,
my need,
strip away the layers of pretence and superficiality
and expose what is truest in me -
that most tender and fragile place

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