earthquake moment

this past week or so has been filled with earthquakes..........
what is happening in Haiti has filled the tv screens
the news print
the internet
and for sure has filled my heart
so much death
so much destruction
so much falling down
so much missing

I found it fascinating watching and listening to the dude on the news
who explained why and how it all happened
explained about the shifting plates
about the fault lines
the rubbing together
the shifting sideways of the bottom of the ocean
well below
well hidden from all eyes

this had to happen
nothing could stop it

the only question was when it would happen
and how much death would result

and my eyes
and my ears
and my heart
are filled with the cries of the living
and the cries of the dead
and the cries of the rubble littered land

this land that stole my heart years ago

and then this week
another earthquake
caused by another hidden fault line
another shifting of the land
causing death
and destruction
and a tumbling down

not a destruction of a country
but a destruction of much soil
his soil
her soil
the soil of their children
the soil of hope
of life
of dreams

and as in Haiti
many people buried in the rubble
in this too
many are buried in the rubble

those who come out alive
will be forever changed
might never again fully alive ............

and I fear some may not come out at all alive

and my eyes
and my ears
and my heart
are filled with the cries of the dead
and the cries of the not quite living

and I am filled with the sight of the rubble
the falling down
because of a hidden fault line
that shifted

and I realize that I too am under the rubble of this right now
and I so desire to come out alive
fully alive
but right now
there is a lot of death
the smell of all that has died is very strong .........

and I feel I might drown
because my mouth is filled
with the salt
of an ocean of unshed tears

my spirit feels defiled
simply by the knowledge
of all the winds of this particular earthquake

this is horrible
and no pretending it is not