darkness moment

I suddenly came across this verse:
Exodus 20:21
"..............Moses drew near the thick darkness where God was"

and I saw that sometimes God is in the thick darkness - the stuff I flee from -
always I have believed I should run from darkness
after all, God is light and does it not follow then that darkness is the enemy
and something to flee from .............
and in the fleeing from all darkness I believed I was running towards light, towards God,
but if there are times God is in the thick darkness, there have been times I have been fleeing from Him ............

I thought of Elijah in the cave (1Kings 19:11-13)
Elijah had run into the cave - he was "lodging" there - no intention of leaving
until he heard
"what are you doing here?"

so similar to Adam hearing "where are you?"

there was a great wind, an earthquake, a fire - all familiar manifestations of God's Presence for Elijah

but this time, God was in a gentle whisper - it was that gentle whisper which drew Elijah out of the cave ...........

we can miss God if we only look in the places where we have seen Him before, if we only seek the familiar, the known, perhaps even the comfortable? .........

sometimes God is in the thick darkness

and I understood this day that my running hard from all darkness has simply filled my ears with my own panting, my own striving, the sound of my own pounding footsteps

my ears so full, they were unable to hear the gentle whisper

that sometimes comes
out of the
thick
darkness