deception moment

deception is such a sneaky thing ......
even the wondering about deception
about being deceived
is large and wide and deep
simply wondering can rock one's world ............
all the questions suddenly flare up
all the warnings heard but ignored
were they right?

so easy to lose one's footing in the storm of wondering .........

we are designed for relationship
and perhaps that is why it is such a battlefield

there are some who have a desire to deceive
but there must also be a willingness to be deceived
an acceptance of the deception

I am one who tends to leap into relationships
to immediately embrace another
and invite them into my life
which of course involves trusting
to one degree or another

which is interesting
because trust
is one of my "issues"

and so when it becomes evident
that all is not what it seemed
my tender trust is somewhat shattered and torn
again

in the shredding of that tender ligament
there is pain
and a limp develops as I continue my journey

a limp from the tear
but also a limp from wrestling with God
about trusting ever again ............

I do not believe God desires us to interact with one another
always being suspicious
we are afterall told to simply love our neighbour

and what does that love look like
feel like
sound like
taste like

everything these days boils down to love
or lack of it