emerging moments

captured emerging process
with emptied shell left behind

I was struck at the fragility of the process
one touch would introduce death

we need to be that respectful of one another
sheltering
but not touching
during the emerging

rhythm moments

I leave to lie on the beach
to become like the beach
bare
open
empty
erased by today's sun and sand of all yesterdays
empty
open
lullaby-ed by the water's rhythms
outward and inner man one
to find the rhythm between solitude
and communion
between retreat and return

my life has too little empty space
so few empty hours in my day
so few empty rooms in my life
in which to stand alone and find myself

there is a wilderness in the mind
and desert wastes in the heart
through which one can wander lost
a stranger to oneself and others

out of touch with myself
I cannot touch others
so even when shaking hands with a friend
a wilderness can be felt stretching between

only when connected to our core
are we connected to others

and yet
so many have a fear of being alone
they never let it happen
always filling the void with noise

and when the noise stops
there is no inner music to take its place

we must re-learn to be alone

and so
I return to the beach
to lie on the beach
and become one with the beach
bare
open
empty
in touch with myself

choosing moments

a tender heart
finds its roots
in the soil of suffering

when suffering
a path must be found through it

one path is the way of a hardened heart
a path that closes me off from someone else
and from God

to choose a gentle path
of being pressed into brokenness
is a radical act
with roots that know the fragility
and strength of my soil

this path will root
in the earth of me

it is on this path
where on my knees
I will grow
as I wait before Him
till the dust settles
and the stream runs clear

God gently approaches the soul
as the dew on the flowers

dwelling moments

what is pain
but a place of emptiness
where one feels sharply
the absence of love

it is necessary to own pain
and trust it will not always be there

pain puts us in touch
with our own heart
with its undercurrent of anguish

we must tell our story
from a place where it no longer dominates
and suffer our sorrow standing

when we are where God wants us to be
He holds us safe
and gives peace
even in the pain

it is a time to dwell deep

afterall
to be hidden in Christ
Who is hidden in God
is to dwell at the source of all things

but to be completely hidden
there must be a complete death

dwell deep

dawn moment

Death is not the lamp that is extinguished

It is the coming of dawn

Tagore

anguish moment

there are no real answers
and that is why
I do not have the question

asking why
is simply the wrong question
because I cannot reverse the outcome

to overcome a saturating sadness
I must first face it
feel it
and find a unity deep within

the anguish of another
often awakens our own anguish

am I prepared to sacrifice the prize
for unity

I was frightened because I was naked and I hid
Gen 3:9-10

all of us know the place of fear within us and we are frightened
because we are so vulnerable
vulnerable to pain
vulnerable to failure
to rejection
to death

Adam was naked - Adam was vulnerable
Adam did not know what to do and so he hid

this is our ongoing history

we hide behind walls
behind gossip
behind groups
behind culture
behind religion

only when we have a real sense
a deep understanding
of who the human person is
of the sacred reality of each person
a deep awareness of the beauty of each one
a belief that each one carries the mystery of God
in a capacity to be
to love
and be loved
can we escape our fear

we need to come together
to listen to one another's story
it is in the listening where it all begins
the belief that another is important

we need to grow a listening heart
to live in a sacred space of listening

there is a time to be silent
and a time to talk
but the talk
must always come from a place of silence

peace to you
peace to me
peace

iris moment

it is never too late

for someone

to sing you a lullabye

spring moment

there is a song

when sung

spring dances

life moment

Morrie's moment

as long as we can love each other
and remember the feeling of love we had
we can die without ever really going away

all the love you created is still there

all the memories are still there

you live on
in the hearts of everyone you have touched
and nurtured
while you were here

death ends a life
not a relationship

forgive yourself before you die
then forgive others

Morrie Schwartz

sacred moment

we must learn to be still

and silent

so as not to miss

sacred moments

that nurture our soul

and fertilize the soil

of our hearts

to see

truly see

the sober solemnity

of simple dignified beauty

illusion moment

a day of mourning
grieving

learning how to grieve
something that was never there
merely an illusion
a hope
a desire

a truth
that turned out to be not so true

seems appropriate it is raining
the heavens weeping
at what we have become

no longer living stones
simply scrabbling rocks

in the midst of the grieving
I know there is a need to fight
and thus not give up

but I am tired of this fight
tired of needing to fight this fight

words moment

words

letters strung together
making a sound
or a combination of sounds

words can create
words can kill

can be whispered
or shouted

can be true
or completely false

can be spoken with care
or spilled hastily

can sound great
and yet be venomous

I forget who said this but:
it is not the words of our enemies that we will remember
but the silence of our friends

unspoken words can hurt too

and there is the old sticks and stones saying
which is so not true

words do hurt
words can leave bruises that last for a lifetime
words can draw blood
words can slice and dice with extreme precision

it all depends on the heart
the heart that speaks
the heart that hears

I heard much today
and am bruised in the hearing

and deeply sorrowed

and somewhat frightened

just being honest here

am I willing
am I even willing to be willing

am I able

hearing moment

God does not hear us as humans hear.
Unless you shout with your lungs and chest and lips,
a mere man does not hear;
whereas to God
your very thoughts shout.
Augustine

present moment

the last few weeks have been a torrent of activity

and I am desperate to recover the rhythm in my heart

that moves my body first and my mind second

that allows my soul to catch up with me

and take a sacred pause

as if I were a sun-warmed rock

in the center of rushing river

to stand in the deep brooding silence

when all wilderness seems motionless

as if the work of creation were done

for it is

when I walk with God

on the sacred ground of the present moment

I always find Him in an unexpected place

outside the gates moments

seven days

outside the gates of the city

by the water

where people had gathered to pray

highly visible

yet hidden

at the bottom of a long hill

by the water's edge

seven nations represented

listening

waiting

watching

a seventy year-old

a five week old

and the rest of us inbetween

loons calling

eagles soaring

ducks and geese honking

deer hesitantly standing

we were guests on this land

and so tread very carefully

in the spiritual

in the natural

so many tender things

easily crushed

if you did not consider

where you were placing your feet

gathering as strangers

parting as friends

enlarged

by simply being together

friday moments

the oak sleeps in the acorn
the bird awaits in the egg
dreams are the seedlings of realities

trees can grow well in rocky soil
but they only do this by finding crevices in the rocks
where the roots are able to penetrate deeply

take me by the hand and lead me
not where I would wish to go
but where it is best for me to be
speak to me in the garden of Your word

our visible wealth is like a weed
suffocating the delicate shoot
that contains the very Presence of God

I must always create free space
where a stranger can enter in
and become a friend

cemetery moment

went to the cemetery today

to plant some flowers

in memory of my family .......

this is a very old formal cemetery

with huge stones

and memorial carvings .......

while walking about

I came across a simple cross

bearing a skateboard

with a candle standing guard

I was deeply moved

Tavis has some beautiful friends

I hope he knew he was loved

retreat moments

today was rare
and stunning

on retreat
with some friends

in the quiet of the woods

sharing the luxury of silence
and simply being

each in our own space for four hours
and then together
sharing
touching
loving
for another two hours

the woods were hot with life
deer
rabbits
turkeys
grouse
birds birds and more birds

even a snake tidily crossing the road
heading to the stream
and the burping frogs

stumbled onto a poustinia snuggled in the woods
and immediately felt at home

God spoke
and we were each very very careful
not to let one single word
fall to the ground

I had no real expectations for the day
which was good
because this day was so rare
I could never have imagined it

and the contrast with tomorrow is huge
the pomp and circumstance
of the annual prayer breakfast on Parliament Hill

suits, ties
shoes and purses ........

and always
always
the surprise of heart of the invited speaker

rich start to this month of May

tuesday moment

eternal One
revealed in waves
and in waiting stillness
teach me to rest
content in your love
let my life be a poem that tells of your care
always ready to rise up on trusting wings
and risk the wind
amen
amen