offered an opportunity to attend a conference on restoring the proper rhythm to life
restoring the daily office
developing the discipline of being still
added to the mix was the people I would be attending the conference with
people whom I had grown to love
to appreciate deeply
to enjoy and think of always with great affection
then I looked at my calendar and felt the rush of so many already filled days
the pressure of a jam packed agenda
I heard my answer of maybe early next month
when a friend called to see if we could meet for coffee
I felt the hypocrisy of my so-called contemplative lifestyle –
days go by with no time to sit
let alone contemplate-
how long has been since I felt the weight of the wait ….
and here I am considering yet another trip
to attend yet another conference
to be taught the importance of doing exactly what God has long ago asked me to do –
to be still …………???????????
finally I begin to recognize the selfishness in my even considering this trip
and so ……….
I will bless my friends in their going
I will bless the pastors holding the conference
I will bless the teaching and the receiving ………..
I will stay home
embracing the weight
of the wait