committed moments

a passing remark by a friend caught my attention ........
he spoke of someone being a committed Christian
and I wondered about that word committed ..........
what exactly does that mean?
what do we base our using it to describe someone on?

I know of some
maybe many
who are so busy doing this, that and the other thing
in the Name of Christ
for the "church"
that being around them makes me feel I am in a whirlwind

there is a certain freneticism about their activities
their very lives

is it approval seeking
affirmation needing
trying to fill an inner hole
a lack of solid certainty about their belovedness

and we look at the outward manifestation
and conclude they are "committed"

perhaps it is we might even strive to match
their "committedness"
so that we too would be considered committed .........

but my wondering in all this
is about the heart

how and where is their heart

I have known for a very long time
that my life is to be a life of prayer

outwardly it seems I am "doing" nothing
and I have been hammered over the head
and pierced right through the heart
more than once
with the scripture
"faith without works is dead"

when younger I felt it was necessary for me to attempt to justify my life
of prayer
and solitude
and contemplation
but fortunately that is no longer the case .........

there is a quiet knowing within my spirit
within my soul
within my body
that allows me to rest and be still

I hear the words of Jesus
when his colleagues came to Him
saying didn't we do this, that and the other thing for You
and He answered with
go away, I don't know you

I for sure do not wish to judge anyone
nor even question
anyone else's commitment

but

is it really necessary to be highly active outwardly
to be
"committed"

or is more the degree of surrender of a heart

what about the ones who chair every committee
teach every class
drive every child
memorize every scripture
and yet have no peace
no love
no mercy
no joy
no tenderness

I heard a pastor say once that
you can go to hell with baptism waters still fresh on your head

I think he probably knew what he was talking about