eyes moment

this week has brought about many moments of sitting in emerg
during the day
in the middle of the night
and very early in the morning

there is not much to do in emerg
other than duck sneezes and coughs
while trying to remain calm and positive

you watch a lot ...........
listening can be a bit off-putting
so you simply watch

some swagger in
gold everywhere
big boots
strange hair
the obligatory ripped knee in jeans

others sort of whimper in
eyes refusing to make contact with anything other than the floor

and then there is the occasional demanding entrance
SEE ME NOW!

big
tiny
black
white
yellow
male
female

each one in their own particular agony

soft words
angry words
hateful words
weeping words
bold words
scared words

a lot of life passes before you
during the wait

a muslim woman
all in black
only her eyes betraying her fear

a fire fighter
fighting his own battle
and yet offering his jacket for warmth

a pastor and his wife
while rushing in to a family emergency
stopping to help

a young woman
who sat for hours
silently weeping

the no-nonsense triage nurse
gently holding my hand as she passed me the chart

the very big security guard
carefully walking me to the car in the dark

the docs
seeing
hearing
smelling
touching much
and yet
taking time
to make sure we understood

all these
the ones needing help
the ones giving help
all someone's daughter
someone's son

the eyes give it all away

the toughest
the most flamboyant
the strongest

when you look into their eyes
all you see
is someone very tiny
and very vulnerable

at times I wished there were 50 of me
just to come alongside
to listen
to be fully present