iris moment

some months ago lying on my bed while recovering I was able to watch the iris in the bouquets over the period of a week as they slowly and graciously unfolded their gifts to me

each day a tightly furled bud would begin its slow-motion self-revelation until by the end of the day it would be in full expansion

next morning it would have closed in on itself only to allow the next bud positioned farther down the stalk to display its breathtaking beauty

the very being of the iris

their incomprehensible delicacy and extravagance

the furry petaled dip and curve of them

the modulations of color

the various textures of stalk stem stamen and pistil

all elegantly displayed themselves for my wonderment

there was a wordlessness to the experience that is impossible to convey

the iris simply were

they were inexpressible gifts

unique

unrepeatable

unforgettable

if only I could be present to really see and receive them

I knew I had never seen iris before

I was not sure I had ever really seen anything before

but now I knew

I had seen iris

edge moment

I realize that my faith and unbelief
are never far from each other
maybe it is exactly at the place
where they touch each other
that the growing edge of my life is

friends moment

as part of my readings through the entire Bible this year
I was in Job earlier this morning
and noted such a beautiful event .........

there was a time when Job's friends came alongside him
and they sat for a considerable amount of time
in total silence -
no one said a single word
no one tried to comfort
or fight spiritually
or provide insight
or condemn .........

they all simply sat in silence

the ministry of presence

later on of course these same friends grew impatient
with Job
and with God
and they started speaking .........

but it was when they were silent
such beauty of friendship was seen

we have much to learn from that example ....

a few years ago
when I was ill
some friends came by

one suggested that now I was "old and frail"
I should avail myself of meals on wheels ..........

another wondered about sin in my life
allowing my body to be attacked

some friends never came

but there were a few
who came and sat
in silence
just comforting me with their presence
with their silent hugs

the ministry of silent presence is loud

silent moment

silence is the process of coming to stillness

silent solitude forges true speech

wild moment

the fragile splendor of a wildflower stops me in my tracks
sucks the breath out of me
and opens me to a moment of awe
when I pay attention
and give myself to the moment

killing moment

recently while undergoing some medical tests
it was discovered there was something ugly
and dangerous growing away
hidden deep inside .........
not yet big enough to be noticed by the naked eye
not yet hugely altering how the body was functioning
just simmering away
quietly and slowly
extending its tentacles into everything around it

just like our amazing medical technology
enables one to see deep inside
and find hidden things

there are moments God allows
a "seeing" into the body of Christ

during a season in the midst of a community
I began to see something ugly
and dangerous
simmering away ..........
this was a cancer of jealousy ..........
hidden deep inside
not yet exposed enough to be seen by many eyes
not yet hugely altering how the body was functioning
just simmering away
quietly and slowly
extending its tentacles into those around

some others did not see it
yet began to feel its presence

and just like it takes time to develop a protocol
to treat a dangerous disease in the natural body
time had to be taken
to seek God's protocol for dealing with this particular disease

there are very few things
more destructive than a silent cancer
cancer can kill

there are very few things
more destructive than a simmering jealousy
jealousy can kill

what is seldom understood
is that jealousy
although projected outward
is already killing the person infected with it

serene moment

we walk to lakes
to see our serenity reflected in them

when we are not serene
we do not go to them

Henry Thoreau

womb moment

into the compassionate womb of your love
oh God
I bring my deepest needs
my strongest hopes
my greatest fears .........

insightful moment

"I think that when people say they're lonely,what they're really saying is that they don't like their own company. And something should be done about that, because if you don't like your own company, then you're the victim of whoever passes by."

Diana de Vegh

false moment

living out of a false self
creates a compulsive desire
to present a perfect image to the public
so that everybody will admire us
and nobody will know us

Brennan Manning