choosing moment

I choose to fully inhabit my days

to allow my living to open me

to make me less afraid

more accessible

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing

a torch

a promise

learning moment

after while you learn the subtle difference

between holding a hand and chaining a soul

you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

and company doesn’t always mean security

you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

and presents aren’t promises

you begin to accept your defeats with your head up

and your eyes ahead

with the grace of a woman

not the guilt of a child

and you learn to build your road on today

because tomorrow ’s ground is too uncertain

after awhile you learn that even sunshine burns

if you ask for too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

and you learn that you really can endure

that you really are strong

and really do have worth

you learn

with each good-bye

you learn

lurking moment

there is a serpent
lurking
in the garden
of every relationship

disease moment

I find it fascinating how God quickly gives an opportunity
to confirm a recent truth

to see if we really get it
and how serious we are about practicing it
living it

or

if we will slip back into what had been an unhealthy familiar

even a disease (dis-ease) becomes comfortable over time

moving into health
causes a dis-ease of the disease ...........

defining moment

saddened about those
who have chosen
to be defined
by their wounds..

near moment

Never worry about numbers.

Help one person at a time, and always
start with the person nearest you.

Mother Teresa

hunger moment

yesterday a friend said

"if you are not hungry,
you are dying"

and I began to think about not being hungry

when one is full
one no longer hungers

and so
we must be careful
what fills our mouths
fills our stomachs
fills our bodies

fills our eyes

fills our ears

is it because we have eaten so much junk food
that we have lost the taste
lost the hunger
for our daily bread

we are so satiated by the abundance of
fast food
easy food
over salted food

microwavable nourishment

that manna
is no longer enough
no longer palatable

our bellies are stretched
filled to capacity
with ease
fast
quick

our bodies breaking down
wearing out
dying

because of what we have been ingesting
to feed our hunger

is that why we wander from church to church
from seminar to seminar
from "prophet" to "prophet"
from experience to experience

all along
hungering

but
for the wrong things

and yet God says "come" to
ALL who hunger ............

God .............
purify my hunger

wash my mouth
with Your water

then increase my hunger
increase my thirst

community moment

community is the fruit of our capacity
to make the interests of others
more important than our own

garden moment

spending time alone this morning
in the garden of my solitude
listening for the whisper

pondering what it means to be cherished

pondering the depth

and breadth

and sanctuary

of the word

"husband"

competition moment

The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus
is service for Him

this moment

this moment is holy
at this moment
God
you and I are in the holy present
so be it

stream moment

like water falling down onto a rock

not a strong, surging stream

but something more like a quiet, trickling flow

drawing no attention to itself

making hardly a sound

seeming to have little effect

but over time

as this incessant little rivulet washes down onto the hard surface

even though it slows sometimes to only a slight drip

it continues to have its effect

in time changing the surface of the rock

carving a small channel into its seemingly unyielding face

so it is with the love of God

though it may seem that all efforts to bring it to pass are so meek as to be ineffective

over time the hard surface wears away...

and a way is made for the stream of love to flow

let your love flow down on me

O God

wearing away all that is rough

and all that obstructs your flow

let everything about me be formed by the stream of your love

amen

blessing moment

after a recent question
I have been thinking about blessings ..........
and wondering exactly what a blessing is or is supposed to be ..........

I often end my mails with "blessings!"
without really ever having stopped to figure out exactly what I am saying,
what I am wishing upon, or for, another person ............

I do not claim to have it figured out
but
I do know that when I am in a place of nothingness,
even momentarily,
a nothingness of external things (when in Haiti)
a nothingness of self (when ill)
it is much easier to see, hear, feel and touch God
not that God is ever absent
but I do believe that all our "stuff"
even our own strength,
whether it be physical or intellectual or material,
gets between us and the face of God
gets between us and the hand of God
gets between us and the voice of God ......

afterall, that is precisely why the fathers went into the desert

and so, at this point I am wondering if being blessed
is being aware of the breath of God on my face
being aware of His song in my soul

and with that now I am wondering
if all our material things
our knowledge
our physical abilities
are simply tests ...............
to see if we will rely upon all these things
if our seeing of them will cloud our seeing of God
if the noise of possessions
will drown out the Holy whisper

friendship for instance
is that not a blessing?
yet I cannot see it
cannot own it
nor buy it
although I must take care of it
take very good care of it

blessed are the poor in spirit .......

unworthy moment

when we judge ourselves unworthy
that judgment becomes
a self fulfilling prophecy
and we shackle
by a false humility
the plans of God for our lives

fruit moment

success comes from strength

fruit comes from weakness and vulnerability

intimacy is the fruit that grows through touching one another's wounds

and yet

there is the danger

the bandages on one's wounds can become one's identity

following moment

thinking today about the words

"follow me"

and the difference between
external following
and
internal following

just as there is a difference between
a follower
and
a disciple

it takes maturing desert time
to discern the difference

it is the disciple
the internal follower
who finds it easier to
pick up a basin and the towel

whisper moment

there is a seductive silence
a gentle tenderness

the air
pregnant with a whisper

one must be still
body, mind and spirit
to hear it
and even then
you feel Him
more than hear Him

without moment

one cannot celebrate the babe
without celebrating the cross

one cannot stoop to enter the stable
without climbing the hill of Golgotha

one cannot wear the robe
without getting rid of the fig leaf

one cannot soar
without seeking the lowest place

one cannot speak
without always listening

one cannot live
without dying

one cannot love
without first being loved

one cannot lead
without carrying a basin and a towel

cripple moment

there are times
God finds it necessary
to cripple a leg
in order to
heal a heart