uncharted moments

there was a moment yesterday
a suddenly of God
an opportunity to explore uncharted territory
an opening to move beyond surface words
the loneliness of the I'm fine
and step trembling into a scary place

the nakedness of truth

the holding out of pain
asking others to hold it together
while exploring its depths

to extend freedom to one another
to be willing
or not
to walk together in nakedness

a choice
to be seen naked
to see another naked

there are times love is a confrontation

we choose who we are
and what we have decided to be

where we end
is where we chose to arrive

this morning
one of my brothers in a community
of those whose lives have particular challenges
desired to do as some others were doing
and create a gift
to produce something with his hands
these hands that are spastic
and seem to have a mind of their own

use of a cutting tool was required
but I did not wish to deprive this gentle man
of the opportunity to create
and so I simply wrapped my hand around his
so that he could feel the handle of the tool in his fingers
but I could assist in its use

again there was a suddenly
this time it was a seizure
and during the convulsive movements
my hand was cut

after a bit
when things were quieter
this gentle man
with wide eyes
asked to unwrap the wound on my hand

when he saw the cut
and the blood
he wept
and wept
and wept

with his eyes locked onto mine
he stammered

you bleed
not me
you bleed
for me

and he buried his face in my lap and sobbed

and I thought of Christ
who bled
for me
who bleeds still today
for me
with fresh wounds
that I inflict
and yet
how often does the reality of that
cause me to bury my face in his lap and weep

and I thought of the events of yesterday
how when cultivating the garden of friendship
in the uncovering of
and touching
hidden or thorny things
there might be blood
mine
or an other's
or both

and how will we respond

will we simply react
and run

or dare to seek the path where there is no trail