yesterday was .............
yesterday
it was orchestrated that I would spend some time waiting
in a waiting room
a room designed for waiting
lots of waiting
soft colors on the walls
padded chairs
thick rug
piles of magazines - current ones at that
soft music - Perry Como would you believe!
nearby washrooms
the only thing missing
was a percolating coffee pot ............
this is not a room where you choose to wait
this is a room where you wait
after you have already waited
in other waiting rooms
and so
when looking around at the others who are waiting
there is the stark realization
that we are all somehow in the same boat
and no one seems to have a firm grip on the rudder
we are all sailing round and round
on the winds of emotion
I turned to the beautiful tender lady next to me
and simply asked if she wanted to talk
the floodgates opened
and she only needed to cry
to stop "being strong"
and let it out
while being held
in someone's arms
the night before
I had been called
and asked to visit with a family
during the afternoon
a lovely home
manicured lawns
spectacular gardens
even the doorbell had a charming song
inside though
there was palpable tangible fear
and grief
and guilt
and a lovely pain ridden fifteen year-old girl
her mom
her dad
for several months
this child had been complaining of a sore neck
weeks of visits to the chiropractor
had not provided relief
finally
they went to the family doctor
when it was discovered that cancer
had eaten into the neck bones
after further testing
it was learned
this was a secondary cancer
leaking from the kidney
and then they found more
and more
and the choice was offered
to surgically fuse the neck bones
and hopefully prevent paralysis
or
massive immediate chemotherapy
and radiation
if the surgery was undertaken
any other treatment
would have to be postponed until healing
of the fusion had taken place
and this might mean weeks and weeks and weeks
of letting the cancer spread even further
and so this dilemma
and most of their friends knew a little at least of what was going on
most of their church community knew
and yet
no one was visiting
simply because no one knew what to say
why do we think we must have answers
and if we have no answers
then we must stay away
I have been on the receiving end
but also have been on the guilty end of this scenario
however
yesterday afternoon
this broken family and I
sat together
and held hands
no words
no platitudes
no false hope
just touching one another
and then the tears came
and the loneliness was expressed
and we have agreed to stay together
to walk this through together
to cry together
and I am positive
there also will be times of laughing together
of rejoicing with one another
take a moment
touch someone