Wednesday, September 19, 2007

wordless moments

yesterday was .............

it was orchestrated that I would spend some time waiting
in a waiting room
a room designed for waiting

lots of waiting

soft colors on the walls
padded chairs
thick rug
piles of magazines - current ones at that
soft music - Perry Como would you believe!
nearby washrooms

the only thing missing
was a percolating coffee pot ............

this is not a room where you choose to wait
this is a room where you wait
after you have already waited
in other waiting rooms

and so
when looking around at the others who are waiting
there is the stark realization
that we are all somehow in the same boat
and no one seems to have a firm grip on the rudder

we are all sailing round and round
on the winds of emotion

I turned to the beautiful tender lady next to me
and simply asked if she wanted to talk

the floodgates opened
and she only needed to cry
to stop "being strong"
and let it out
while being held
in someone's arms

the night before
I had been called
and asked to visit with a family
during the afternoon

a lovely home
manicured lawns
spectacular gardens
even the doorbell had a charming song

inside though
there was palpable tangible fear
and grief
and guilt

and a lovely pain ridden fifteen year-old girl
her mom
her dad

for several months
this child had been complaining of a sore neck

weeks of visits to the chiropractor
had not provided relief

they went to the family doctor
when it was discovered that cancer
had eaten into the neck bones

after further testing
it was learned
this was a secondary cancer
leaking from the kidney

and then they found more
and more

and the choice was offered
to surgically fuse the neck bones
and hopefully prevent paralysis

massive immediate chemotherapy
and radiation

if the surgery was undertaken
any other treatment
would have to be postponed until healing
of the fusion had taken place
and this might mean weeks and weeks and weeks
of letting the cancer spread even further

and so this dilemma

and most of their friends knew a little at least of what was going on
most of their church community knew
and yet

no one was visiting
simply because no one knew what to say

why do we think we must have answers
and if we have no answers
then we must stay away

I have been on the receiving end
but also have been on the guilty end of this scenario

yesterday afternoon
this broken family and I
sat together
and held hands

no words

no platitudes

no false hope

just touching one another

and then the tears came
and the loneliness was expressed

and we have agreed to stay together
to walk this through together
to cry together

and I am positive
there also will be times of laughing together
of rejoicing with one another

take a moment

touch someone

1 comment:

Hogie said...

Thank you for sharing this. This speaks deep into those of us on the outside. Please keep telling the story. You may not see the seeds germinating but be assured that the sowing is not in vein and the harvest will come.