everyone moment

imagine
loving everybody
while not being unfaithful
to anyone

kiss moment

there is the kiss of presence
that is so sweet
so tender
so healing
so freeing
so powerful
so easy to receive
and yet so rarely given

home moment

there are some who draw near the house
but who are never home
and others who are always around the house
but never home

touch moment

"and our hands have touched"
1 John 1:1

Jesus
God on earth
touched by human hands
handled
gazed upon

reveal moment

to love someone is not to do things for them
but to reveal to them their beauty and value
to say to them through our attitude
you are beautiful
you are important
I trust you
you can trust yourself

friendship moment

unless we are open to the gift of friendship
allowing ourselves to be loved
and to really love in return
only then can we know what it might be
to have God love us
and to love God

the experience of love
is the only teacher of love

love moment

I have only such a small portion of time
in which to love
and be loved .........

owning moment

owning our story can be hard
but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it

embracing our vulnerabilities is risky
but not nearly as dangerous as giving up
on love
and belonging
and joy
the experiences that make us the most vulnerable

only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness
will we discover the infinite power of our life

Brene Brown

cancer moment

I spent yesterday afternoon with a friend
who has been diagnosed with breast cancer

she quite quickly after the diagnosis
decided not to have surgery or any conventional treatment
and instead went to some centre in Arizona
that teaches about the correlation between diet and disease ...........

after 3 weeks there
my friend came back
armed with tons of literature
and a strong determination
to rigidly follow this new way of eating ............

this was in August

yesterday I spent time with the shell of my friend
she has now lost 30 pounds and was very thin to begin with -
her color is grey
her hair is limp
her eyes are dull
and she is listless
but she still believes this is the journey God has laid out before her ...........

I shared "the question" with her
and she was rocked .......

I asked her if she was at peace
or simply worn out
and she was unable to find an answer

everything within me believes she is dying
and I am not sure this is God's will for her at this time ....

do I speak
do I stay quiet

is staying quiet loving her
is speaking loving her

sometimes
or perhaps really most times
it is hard to figure out what this thing called love is
and how to do it

sometimes too it is hard to simply receive it

supply moment

the supply of bread
the fullness of the Spirit
comes on the other side of midnight

ashamed moment

just yesterday
I finished reading the autobiography
of one of my heroes -

I wept my way through every page .......

every page that is filled with the tender sharp edge of reality -

this lovely gentle man
who has helped countless others
find peace
acceptance
love

to learn how to love
and how to be loved

never himself has been able to dwell in that reality ...........
he has visited there
but never found a home there

never loved by his mom
never affirmed
never wanted

I so relate to his pain

and his picture at the end of the book
broke me into tiny jagged pieces ..........

sitting crookedly in a chair
with his caretaker at his side

his hired caretaker

alone from family

every day absent from a hug
a touch
a kiss

I don't understand ...........
and yet
I do

near the end of his days
he decided to be honest
with himself
and with his readers

the brutality of his honesty is piercing

makes me ashamed of me

truth moment

have been thinking about truth

about how my truth is not necessarily another's truth

read a book once called "Absolute Truths" (thanks D.M.)
filled with stories about indviduals' truths
which in most cases turned out simply to be
rationalization or convenience or excuse
a manipulated truth

even when reading scripture looking for truth
and hanging onto a verse, or a word
someone comes along and says
"but that's not what it says in the original language"

a friend would often encourage me
saying "you always speak the truth
and I really appreciate that"
and yet
when a truth was spoken to her
knickers were twisted
and a door was slammed shut

just yesterday
truth was spoken
revealing an inner brokenness
a pain
a festering wound
that had been causing this one to run so fast
and so hard
that his ears were only filled
with the sound of his own feet pounding the pavement
and the spoken truth ignited an anger
which simply was covering up a fear ...........

truth births freedom
but sometimes our chains
the bars on our windows
have become so familiar
so comfortable
that being a slave
is preferable to running free

being dead
is preferable to breathing

existing
trumps living .......

pride moment

pride is the dandelion of the soul
its root goes deep
only a little left behind sprouts again
its seeds lodge in the tiniest encouraging cracks
and it flourishes in good soil
the danger of pride is that it feeds on goodness

hearing moment

to be willing to hear
can be dangerous
or so we think .........

prayer moment

prayer is ............a life of absolute surrender to the Holy Spirit
Who is the source of prayer
because He brings the will of the Father to us .............

living continually under the mastery of the Spirit is to live in
a natural flow of prayer as an unconscious stream
ever communing with the Father
to the extent that a simple thought
is heard as a prayer to be answered
and every desire has come from God's own vision

under the blessed Spirit
prayer is breathing ..........
a thought, a sigh, a groan, a want (Rom 8:26,27)

Martha Kilpatrick

ask moment

in a class of eight year-olds one Sunday morning
one boy continually would disrupt the lesson

finally the boy was taken aside
and the lesson explained to him one on one .............

the thrust of the lesson was about our friendship with God
which offers us an opportunity to ask Him for things ........

this young boy was asked if he wanted to ask God for something

he very quietly responded

"I would like to ask God to tell my dad to stop hitting my mom"

true story

plastic moment

now that it is almost October
I decided to finally take down the spring wreath
hanging on my porch wall
and put up a more seasonal fall one

to my surprise
I found a nest had been carefully built into the top of the wreath

this wreath that is very colorful
but absolutely false
plastic
and fake
and it reminded me how discerning we must be
about the place where we give birth
to the things of the Spirit

things can look real
smell real
feel real
and yet be totally false

scripture warns us about casting our pearls .............

if the babe in your womb
does not leap
when you are with the people who surround you
you are surrounded
by the wrong people

hidden moment

there is a light
hidden inside
each candle

hug moment

there are times
words not only aren't necessary
aren't needed
aren't wanted
times only a touch will do

and sometimes
that touch
is a hug

there are hugs
and there are hugs

last Saturday
I was hugged
by a gentle man from Australia

it was a beautiful hug
a totally asexual hug
a heart hug

it was a safe hug

I was hugged

and today
such a difficult day
filled with such difficult news
it was the echo of that hug
that carried me through

fickle moment

hope and despair
peace and angst
like dancing with a fickle lover

wind moment

the wind
singing
calling
wooing
causing fingers of water
to lift up
and reach out in anticipation

the wind
glorious in its dance
then suddenly gone
leaving only the echo of its sigh
as a remnant upon the land

value moment

those who know the exact price of things
often don't know the true cost
or value
of anything

midnight moment

the supply of Bread
the fullness of the Spirit
comes on the other side of midnight

writing moment

writing is sitting at the keyboard
and
opening a vein

peace moment

at dinner last evening with some friends
there was talk of "church" things ........
and I was reminded of a statement
made by Jean Vanier in a recent series of lectures -

"a modest proposal for peace:
that Christians around the world would stop killing one another"

we don't shoot many bullets against one another on this side of the world
but a critical word
snide remark
a word of judgement
pierces deeper than any bullet
leaving a scar that wounds for years

its echo can reverberate loudly in our hearts for a very long time

passion moment

how many have allowed their passion
to be replaced
by achieving position

recover moment

you must recover your
NO
before you can exercise your
YES

conundrum moment

what does one do
when a friend
is about to make a huge mistake

it is so true -
"love is blind"

something happens to discernment
wisdom
caution

we are able to convince ourselves all is good
when other eyes see opposite

do we blind ourselves
or are we blinded

is it the longing of our hearts
that pulls the shade down over our eyes
and a comforter over our discernment

to speak
or
not to speak

that is the question
the age old conundrum

the cop out answer is
"just pray"

and of course prayer is a huge part of this
but sometimes a spoken word of caution is necessary ..........

knowing the spoken word will not be wanted
and probably not received
and so a relationship is then damaged

the risk is huge

blind moment

rejected light
increases blindness

voice moment

emotions
are the cry
that
gives the heart
a voice ..........

scent moment

when your life has become most frantic
when fear and worry have made their home in you
and anxiety attends your days
may there come from somewhere
the scent of pomegranate and cedar
apple and myrrh
cinnamon
frankincense
and fig

family moment

only when we have the courage to cross the street
and look in one another's eyes
can we see there
that we are children of the same God
and members of the same human family

Henri Nouwen

orphan moment

"Sons are teachable, orphans are not. Orphans earnestly desire some spiritual achievement and distinction and are willing to achieve it, they have a desire to be seen and counted among the mature. Sons are content simply to experience daily the Fathers love and acceptance and be sent as a representative of His love to family and others."

Jack Frost "Slavery to Sonship"

running moment

there is a little boy
who still loves to run
inside every man
no matter his age

stump moment

a few years ago
I came across a magnificent children's book
called "The Giving Tree"
written by Shel Silverstein

I knew immediately God was speaking to me
through these words ........
but it is only recently
that I am gaining some understanding

the story basically is about a tree
who gives itself away
piece by piece
because of love

the time eventually comes
when the tree believes it has nothing left to give
no branches
no shade
no fruit
no body

and yet
this tree
now only a stump
discovers that a stump still can give

this stump is able to provide a place of rest
enough strength remaining to enable someone to lean against

most of us reach a stump phase in our lives
wondering if there is anything left to give
feeling somewhat set aside
forgotten

having recently been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease
which has caused my body to be at war with itself
I find this story even more poignant
and even more comforting

right now in an acute phase of this disease
having difficulty with mobility
not able to even hold a coffee cup with one hand
(necessitating becoming a two fisted drinker!)
thinking a lot before attempting anything
this old stump is privileged to provide a place of rest
for those who are weary
for those who need to lean a bit
for those who simply need a spot to "be"

at the lake last week
I came across a stump
down by the water

a stump of a long dead cedar
that had to be cut down years ago
before it fell on someone

this old old stump
has a tiny sprout of green life
birthing from it

what many would pass by
seeing only death
those who walk slowly
would see life

Vanier moment

To look forward, to want life, means we have to be willing to look backwards and become more conscious of all those who have hurt us, all that is broken in us and that has brought us inner deaths, hurts that we may have hidden and stifled. It means that we acknowledge the story of our origins, of our own lives, see and accept our brokenness and the times we also have hurt others. When we have accepted who we are and what we need in order to grow in compassion and peacemaking, we can move forward to give life. To forgive is a gift of God that permits us to let go of our past hurts.

Jean Vanier

loving moment

loving someone does not simply mean doing things for them
it is much more profound
to love someone is to show to them their beauty
their worth
and their importance
it is to understand them
understand their cries
and their body language
it is to rejoice in their presence
spend time in their company
and communicate with them
to love is to live a heart-to-heart relationship with another
giving to and receiving from each other

passing moment

Human life
passes through very different stages
on the way from weakness to weakness
from the mother's womb
to the womb of the earth

perfection moment

``I have come to realize
that the radiance of the rose
and the whiteness of the lily
do not take away
the fragrance of the little violet
or the delightful simplicity of the daisy -
perfection consists in being
what God wants us to be.``
St. Therese

pulling moment

finally
after a long winter
spiritually and naturally
I made it to the poustinia
for a time of planting my feet in the soil of God

we had been cutting down huge trees
that had fallen during a violent wind a few weeks ago -
these trees, some very very old, were leaning on younger trees
full of life
but now being bent and bowed and endangered
under the weight of death

and I saw spiritually
how there was a lot of dead wood in my heart
pains and rejections and betrayals
and fear
mostly fear
that were pressing on tender shoots of love

Jer 4:3 speaks of breaking up the fallow ground
and I see afresh how time spent with God works the earth of my heart
first a pulling of the weeds
then a pulling of things I have planted
and I feel the struggle in my knees
and my back

living faithfully to my true self
has disappointed a lot of people
family
peers
closest friends
when I have failed to meet their expectations,
they have left
religious leaders ..........who do not appreciate a disruption of their theology

Lord, help me to love others well
while remaining faithful to you

Holy Spirit, empower me to pause
and savor the sacred in all I do -
be it large or small