Friday, May 06, 2011

pearl moment

this whole face book thing is weird to begin with
but something happened recently that surprisingly triggered a deep pain ....

I have been quite careful to restrict access to my site - closing it as tightly as I know how -
only allowing "friends" access ............
and this word friends in relationship to face book is a whole other thought .........

earlier this week
a "friend" whom I had granted access to my postings
simply by agreeing to be "friends"
changed a lot of the pictures I had posted of my family ......
she thought she was doing a nice thing by prettying them up
putting words on them
framing them
changing their colors
and nothing she did was "bad"
but she had taken what I had posted
and changed them ...........
changed them to something different
something that I could no longer relate to
and then re-posted them on my site ..........
she did not mean any harm
I absolutely know that
but I felt violated
I felt someone had sneaked into my treasure box
and changed all my treasures
painted them
shaped them
printed upon them
with colors, shapes and words that did not come from my heart
and then these changed things displaced my original treasures
which were no longer able to be found

I know face book is public
I know once you post, whatever is posted becomes public
but now I really KNOW
I feel a loss
I was a bit angry at first
but then realized I was the one who had given permission for this
simply by posting ..........

and so, I have spoken with this one
and asked her to refrain from doing this on my site
I realize she now has these pictures copied on her computer
and can do whatever she chooses to with them
and I do not like feeling concerned about this
feeling a concern with a "friend"

the pain of all this was deep -
it took a day or two for me to figure out what was triggered in me

there was a moment a few years ago
when a "leader" of a ministry asked me to share my testimony ...
I did so
and he then proceeded to tear it apart
shred it
and tell me I had been deceived
that everything I had thought was beautiful and wonderful
and full of love
was only full of the enemy

all my treasures were thrown into the mud
and stomped on

we are warned about casting our pearls ............

I am withdrawing from face book
and will spend whatever hours are necessary
deleting all my pictures before closing my account

I realize it is a little like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped
but ..............

hopefully this time I will learn
to always be very cautious with my pearls.............

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