dance moment

this week has been a struggle
and it is good to simply admit that

some days it has been hard to find
let alone taste my daily bread
however yesterday I ate and was filled
in the learning about myself

there was an invitation to spend time
with those who have gathered from across this land
and some from other lands

some I knew and some I knew only by reputation
but all I consider giants in their ministries

there was a time of listening to their vision
there was a time of listening to one another's heart
there was a time of listening to God's heart

a few years ago
I suspect I would have accepted the offer to come alongside
out of a personal need for affirmation
or sad to say perhaps even recognition

there is such freedom now in the absolute knowing of who I am
in the knowing of my purpose
in the knowing of my position

the freedom of being able to bless their vision
while declining their offer

the freedom and the peace and the solidity
of knowing where I am to be
in the hard times
and in the easy times
even in the lonely times

and I wonder about the jostling within the church
is it because most have not yet discovered their identity

some not dressed for where they are
because they are still wearing the clothes
of where they have come from

a greater desire to listen to another's opinion of us
rather than a determination to seek for ourselves
who we are
why we are
where we are to be
what we are to do
and how we are to do it

without that understanding
it is far too easy to follow every wind that comes along
and thus perhaps be blown completely off course

it is very true
dancing does come after mourning

today I am caught up in the dance
of this knowing
and it is very very good to feel the tight arms of the Dancer
as He leads me through the intricate steps of this journey