foggy moment

unable to sleep, I got up early this morning to go to the river
it was somewhat appropriate I suppose
that the path was covered in a heavy fog
I knew in which direction to head and
even though I could not see ahead or even what was beneath my feet
I set my face like flint and headed out
I knew the water would be there
just could not see the path I was to take

it was only when the sun burned away the fog
and I still could not see
that I realized it was not only the fog over the land obscuring my vision
it was also my tears that would not stop
even in the warmth of the sun

and for now at least
the excitement of what must lie ahead
is heavily tempered
by grief
over what might have been

and while walking through this grief
I know that while I might stumble a bit
it is important that I not trip

too much death over the years
and I am yet very heavy with the pain of it
and through my tears
I see the tears of another
and through my pain
I feel the pain of another
and in the peace of the refusal to compromise, to settle,
I feel the lonely fears of another
and can only bow my head
and weep

with open hands