crashed moment

I have this glorious habit while here
of taking a 2 mile hike along the beach
first thing every morning -

although I take the same route
at the same time each day

some mornings I walk in a dense fog
sometimes it is a literal fog
sometimes a spiritual fog

some mornings I walk in brilliant sunshine
the coming heat just touching the edges of the day

some mornings the walk is easy
on hard packed sand

some mornings the walk is not so easy
the sand mushy and slippery
causing muscles not often used to pull and stretch

some mornings my feet stay dry
some mornings I am soaked

it all depends upon the tides ....

this week the tides of sorrow
and pain
and grief have been high

and just as in the natural
when a high rough tide
alters
changes
rearranges the shape of the beach

the spiritual beach of me
has been altered
changed
rearranged

I am still walking the same route
but some spiritual muscles not often called into play
are aching these days

the surf this morning is rolling high and hard
flexing its muscles
to display the great strength there is in the sea
and yet
falling
crashing to its knees as it meets the land

and I feel a bit crashed to my knees .........

I know the strength is still there
but somehow it seems OK
to crash to my knees ....

face down
on the shores
of my God