discovering moment

discovering not everyone
is who they say they are
begins a rape of an innocence
that lasts a lifetime

crashed moment

I have this glorious habit while here
of taking a 2 mile hike along the beach
first thing every morning -

although I take the same route
at the same time each day

some mornings I walk in a dense fog
sometimes it is a literal fog
sometimes a spiritual fog

some mornings I walk in brilliant sunshine
the coming heat just touching the edges of the day

some mornings the walk is easy
on hard packed sand

some mornings the walk is not so easy
the sand mushy and slippery
causing muscles not often used to pull and stretch

some mornings my feet stay dry
some mornings I am soaked

it all depends upon the tides ....

this week the tides of sorrow
and pain
and grief have been high

and just as in the natural
when a high rough tide
alters
changes
rearranges the shape of the beach

the spiritual beach of me
has been altered
changed
rearranged

I am still walking the same route
but some spiritual muscles not often called into play
are aching these days

the surf this morning is rolling high and hard
flexing its muscles
to display the great strength there is in the sea
and yet
falling
crashing to its knees as it meets the land

and I feel a bit crashed to my knees .........

I know the strength is still there
but somehow it seems OK
to crash to my knees ....

face down
on the shores
of my God

jet moment

it is such a privilege
to wake up in this place each morning
leap out of bed
grab my hat
and head for the beach -

while walking my usual 2 mile route today
I noted all the shells
lying face up
like cupped hands
each one holding water ..........

and I thought of Jesus
how He continually offers Himself

offers living water

all the heavy news this week
of death
and grief
and deep sorrow
wonderings

and in the middle of it all
Jesus offers Himself

we have the choice
to drink
or not

it is impossible to question
while drinking ......

suddenly a huge fighter jet
screamed across the sky
such a piercing sound
I could actually feel it

and when everything was quiet again
I realized the pain in my soul was gone

it was as if the jet had pulled something out
as it went overhead .......

so interesting
that Jesus would choose that moment
to heal my soul

while in the valley
I am able to drink

fog moment

there is a thick fog this morning
all the sounds of the ocean are there
like a giant lung inhaling and exhaling
but completely hidden in a grey soup

seems sort of fitting
after hearing the news yesterday
of a sudden death
in a far off land ..

and then more news
of a birth
a new life

the ocean offers
and takes away

life offered
life taken away

all a mystery

God is here
just hidden
in the thick mist of a fog

overdone moment

not so wise yesterday -

went for a 5 mile hike
it was lovely getting out and about
and exploring different corners of this village
however
the last mile while coming home
was really tough -

we decided to return via the beach
and take advantage of the sea breeze ......
the tide was in
which meant we had to walk on soft sand
which kept slipping from beneath our feet

by the time we stepped onto our beachfront
I was totally done in

totally

after resting for 3 hours
my heart rate finally started to slow down
and my head pounding eased off a bit

all made me wonder
what we would do
if my heart failed again down here ..........

realized that even though it has only been 2 years
I had already started to take things for granted again

our bodies
fearfully and wonderfully made
need to be understood
respected
listened to
cared for

one has to find the right balance
between caring for the soul
and caring for the body

can't do one without the other

this day
I will strive to be a tad wiser

yesterday moment

yesterday was just so weird
I don't even know how I feel about it
I can't find an appropriate word

we spent the day with my brother in law
his ex wife
and her current husband

sitting by their pool
in the back yard of their new home

there is a high spouting fountain that spills into the pool
and there was just as much wine flowing beside the pool

the conversation was disturbing to my spirit
it all seemed so shallow
so empty

their lives are consumed with momentary pleasure
or what they hope will bring them pleasure

things are being accumulated
and set out for display

there really is no thought for tomorrow
other than the fact everyone bemoans the fact
that retirement is no longer on anyone's horizon

the economy here is really in the tank
and all hope of stopping work at 60 or 65
or even 70 has vanished

no one seems to like their job
it is simply a means to an end
an empty end

and so minds
emotions
hopes
dreams
are all numbed by the continuous intake of alcohol

bodies are surgically tucked
tightened
and bleached

but

there is no thought to caring for their spirit
their soul

in the midst of all the empty laughter filling the air
I silently wept inside

there seemed to be no point to anything

and this is family ............

it was good to get in the car and drive away
and yet
all night I could not sleep

pipe moment

today is starting off in a fog
a literal fog

sort of appropriate

I know the sea
the beach
the birds
are all there
just hidden for the moment

reminds me of times
I know God is there
His Voice
His Presence
His touch
but hidden from me
because of the fog of a situation ..........

yesterday while walking the beach
I saw some huge pipes
obviously meant to drain rain water
from the inland waterway that meanders through the village

one of the pipes was 90% plugged with sand
from a high tide
when I peered way into it
I could see a tiny window of light at the other end

another pipe a little further along
was wide open
with water draining easily into the sand

there are times
because of our placement
or our positioning in that placement
the tides of life can fill us up
so there is no flow

makes me think of the coffee cup
with the broken handle

still able to do what it was designed to do
but needed two hands to hold it carefully

I have been that plugged pipe

I have been that coffee cup

fragrant moment

yesterday was glorious

the sun and I woke up together on the beach
the sea's song was gentle
lullaby-like
each thrust of the water offering up fresh treasures from the depths

an egret was waiting by the shore
and we walked together for a mile or so ..........

two dolphins played in the surf

later while sitting with my book
a lady came over
asking if she could sit with me

she asked what perfume I was wearing!
which always amazes me ..........

before too many moments
she was telling me her story ........

I asked if I could pray with her ..........

and another soul has entered the kingdom of God

while watching the sun set last evening
another lady sat beside me .........
and she told me her story

and as the sun met the edge of the ocean
she met the King of kings

and another soul has entered the kingdom of God

I wonder what He has in mind for today

linger moment

walked the beach today
no one else around
only my footprints evidencing that I had been there


turned out
I had barely passed by
before the sea gathered up my foot prints
and swept them into the sea

but what of their memory
does it linger in the sand
long after they are no longer there


and I think of the foot prints of some
who have walked with me for a season
and then they are gone

fortunately
their memory lingers
as does their foot prints
in my heart

penetrating moment

Some souls think that the Holy Spirit is very far away,
far, far, up above
Actually he is, we might say,
the divine Person who is most closely present to the creature.
He penetrates him with himself.
He calls him,
he protects him.
He makes of him his living temple.
He defends him.
He helps him.
He guards him from all his enemies.
He is closer to him than his own soul.
All the good a soul accomplishes,
it carries out under his inspiration,
in his light,
by his grace
and his help

Concepcion Cabrera de Armida

balloon moment

friends are like balloons

if you let them go
they might not come back

but what of the string
that ties you to your friend

is it a string that joins
or one that controls

does it chafe
or does it comfort

does it allow you both to soar
or does it require one remain lower

does it bring beautiful truth
or does it cause a shadow

does it bring freedom
or does it chain

there is a lamenting in my spirit this day
about the string ..........

words moment

words are so important to me
words are alive
filled with color
sound
touch

words are filled with life
or filled with death

can bring hope
or despair

when our words are mistreated
mishandled
not respected
guarded
and properly cared for

there is an abuse that takes place
and because our words are the overflow of our hearts
the abuse is to the heart

I have never before seen this quite so clearly

these words
I post in a public forum
are vulnerable

words sent in an email

words spoken in confidence

words simply spoken in passing

words ..........

each word contains a tiny fragment of who I am

and now the question
do I stop sharing my words
do I listen to the whisper of fear

what do I do with all the words tumbling around inside me

Luca moment

there are times
God brings us to an unfamiliar place
to ask us the question,

"Who do you say that I am?

dark moment

Ex 20:21

Sometimes, to meet with God, we have to go to the dark places. We have to enter the thick darkness of terrifying circumstances

And sometimes, it just seems that the darkness surrounds us. We didn’t choose it, we didn’t want it, we didn’t see it coming, but here we are, surrounded by the thick darkness of the unknown, the risky, the lonely.. And it feels like we went the wrong way. God isn’t in the darkness, is he? He dwells in the light - right?

God in the dark requires more trust than God in the light. When life gets dark and terrifying we have a choice: walk in the dark, trusting God - or don’t.

Sometimes the darkness isn’t punishment, or accident, or evil. Sometimes the dark is the gift. Sometimes the dark is the opportunity. God awaits us, not only in the light of easy times and happy moments, but also in the thick darkness. And there he invites us to learn to trust him like never before.

God in the dark requires far more trust than God in the light.

bride moment

just as Eve was birthed out of Adam
to become his bride
so the church is birthed out of Christ
to become His bride

Eve birthed from the opened side of Adam

the church birthed from the pierced side of Christ

people moment

"Look at your life and see how you have filled its emptiness with people. As a result they have a stranglehold on you. See how they control your behavior by their approval and disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with their company, to send your spirit soaring with their praise, to bring you down to the depths with their criticism and rejection. Take a look at yourself spending almost every waking moment of your day placating and pleasing people, whether they are living or dead. You live by their norms, conform to their standards, seek their company, desire their love, dread their ridicule, long for their applause, meekly submit to the guilt they lay upon you; you are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress or speak or act or even think. And observe how even when you control them, you depend on them and are enslaved by them. People have become so much a part of your being that you cannot imagine living a life that is unaffected or controlled by them."

Antony DeMello

loving moment

there are times
loving someone
means giving them permission
to be absent IN your life

choosing moment

I choose to fully inhabit my days

to allow my living to open me

to make me less afraid

more accessible

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing

a torch

a promise