michael moment

an ache
a silent roar
a swelling tsunami of loss
my heart barely afloat in an ocean of tears
ebbing and flowing with the tides of pain
why now after all these years
I had never forgotten
tucked into a hidden cradle of love
he was always there
a quiet residing
but now
this fracturing anguish
this heart stopping lung emptying wailing
where are you
how are you
are you happy
are you loved
are you loving
a man now
yet it is the silk of his tiny face smelling of warm milk
that snuggles into my neck
four months only our togetherness
but my arms
and my heart
have never been truly full since
an ache has surfaced from a hole deep deep within
I am enfolded in this empty hole
drowning in a grief long denied
and no one knows
no one sees
no one hears
but One
and He is silent
and I cannot bear it
his name is Michael
should you know him
please tell him
I am missing him