heart moments

blogging is weird
words are put "out there"
anyone can read and comment

or not

and those who read
can read with a tender heart
or with mocking, derisive eyes

and you know that when you post
and yet .........

and for me
the words
are not just words

they are little pieces of me
little pieces of my heart

my ponderings
wonderings
wanderings

are

me

and it is a little frightening
to realize
these pieces
of me
might not be touched with hands
that are always clean

these little pieces
of me
can easily be tossed away
mocked
stomped upon

and
in the knowing
that more and more
have discovered
and are reading
my heart renderings

there is a wondering
about continuing

and yet

it is a blog

and it is out there
and I am the one who puts it out there

and as I pondered all these things yesterday

this lovely young woman came to my door

we have been meeting weekly for nine months now
to pray
and share
and learn
of each other
and of Jesus

I had early become aware
that when she was very young
her mom had died

and yesterday
she cried
sharing that
she had always wanted to have a mom

she held my hands
and asked
if I would be her mom

and I thought of what she asked
and how she asked
and why she asked

and how brave she was to ask

and I thought of the choices I had

and all of a sudden
blogging
was not so fearful