an awful moment

death in stalking
stockinged feet
approaching
nearing
touching
silently
from the shadows

this thing named suicide
so powerful

and yet
on its own
completely powerless

cannot succeed
without assistance

and why was the assistance given

what is it that makes
the utter darkness
so dark
it shines

offering some sort of light

the ending
seeming easier

the unknown
more palatable
than the known

and what of the now

what is her now
where is her now

is there regret

I suspect
the despair of the loneliness
is more acute
in the now
after the fact

did I fail her

there is no rest
no peace
no comfort
in the
"how could I have known"

this is an awful moment
certainly not a moment
filled with awe

just an awful moment