pulling moments

what a day -
and not over yet

pulled here
and pulled there

pulled to rescue
pulled to speak
pulled to look
pulled to comfort
pulled to war
pulled to affirm
pulled to pray

everyone pulling off little pieces
until now I feel all fragmented
all scattered

wondering if there is anything left
of me
for me

like pouring from an empty vessel
nothing left to come out
but fleshy air

and this is danger zone for me

where it is possible
to learn
to do
ministry

I need a cave

no -
a poustinia

Enough!
tomorrow is lock down day with God

right after my morning meeting
and the noon hour prayer session
and the afternoon counselling session
and dinner with my pastor
and leading the evening prayer meeting

this is crazy

I want off this roller coaster

OK
Thursday is lock down day with God!

because Friday the pace picks up a bit .........