dew moment

I was reminded again this morning

of the importance of stillness

when God’s refreshment comes upon our souls

like dew.

God has arranged it

so that dew only settles on the leaves

when the heat is down

and there is no wind.

The plant gets the benefit of the refreshing of dew

when it is still

and its pores open up

to assimilate the moisture.

In like manner,

we will become wilted in our ministry

(and perhaps dry up)

if there is no time to be still before the Lord

in centering prayer

to allow the dew of the Holy Spirit to refresh our souls,

a time where one waits in stillness

(within and without)

before the Lord

and there is Spirit to spirit connection.

So many of the other aspects of prayer

(worship, praise, intercession)

naturally demand an investment of energy

and are, of course, part of a growing Christian’s life.

But there is an important place for stillness.

May all that we “do”

be filled with grace

because in stillness

we have received the “dew.

life moments

yesterday I was asked to spend time
with a man recently told
he has only a few weeks of life remaining

his lungs suddenly filled with cancer
his heart now failing
every breath a struggle

when I asked how I could serve him best
his response was that he simply
wanted me to speak of Jesus with him

his desire was that each hard fought for breath
would be filled with the Name
and the Person
of Jesus

and so we sat together
hand in hand

and there came a moment
during those few hours
when Jesus
whom this man had known as his Savior
became his Lord

Lord of his final moments

life was birthed yesterday afternoon
a beginning
in those hours of ending

and this morning I read
of a tiny baby girl
dressed in a pink dress
being found
alive
in a garbage bag
floating on a lake in Brazil

it was her cries that were heard
and caused her to be rescued

a passerby
hooked the bag with a stick
pulled it to the shore
untied it
and found this little child inside

someone's daughter

carefully dressed in a pink

and I am overwhelmed
by life moments

precious to one

and I am doubled over in pain

for this mother

who so carefully dressed her daughter

tied her up in a bag designed for garbage

and tossed this life

that she had birthed

into a river

does Jesus feel the nails even now?

rod moment

there is someone in my prayers
presently struggling with deep frustration
in the hearing of murmuring and criticism ………..

although much potential on the horizon
his ears and eyes are clouded
by the dust of the swirling words

and my Jesus showed me something
through the life of Moses

Moses spent time in the desert
shepherding his people

it was a tough time
a dry time
but God
the One Who shepherded Moses into the desert
proved Himself faithful
by day
and by night

and even though the people, the sheep
were no longer enslaved by man
they remained enslaved by their own hopes
their own dreams

their own will

and they mumbled
and they grumbled
and they criticized
and they plotted coups

and Moses was aware

there came a moment
when God, Moses’ faithful Shepherd,
in response to the whining of the sheep
for more water

told Moses to

TAKE his rod
and SPEAK

to the rock

Moses previously
under God’s direction
had always taken his rod
to hit the rock
causing the water contained within
to be released

this time though
God said
TAKE your rod but do not use it.
but
Moses
this mighty friend of God
disobeyed
and hit the rock

not once but twice

and what was it that caused Moses to disobey
his God

his Shepherd

could it have been he was so absolutely frustrated
with his sheep that he just whacked the rock
because that had always worked in the past
and once the sheep had their water
they would quieten down

or was it that he was a little concerned this time
the level of the noise from the sheep
was growing

and what if SPEAKING to the rock didn’t work

was there was perhaps a little lack of trust
in his Shepherd
to provide

in any case
Moses disobeyed
and so

although he saw his horizon
his destiny
he was not ever able to reach it

and I started to wonder
for us
what is our rod
is it our gifting
is it our authority

and are there times God asks us to
enter an area
or remain where we are
with our gifting but not use it

does He say
I have something new for you
and are we able to trust in something we have never seen manifested
are we able to trust our God
who has never let us down
who has always proved Himself faithful
are we able to simply trust ………

and I began to understand the effect
of the mumbling and grumbling
on our shepherds

is it that that causes them to stumble
causes them to vary from their path
causes them to hit the rock when they are to simply speak
causes them to wrap their fist around their rod
and not simply trust …………

hope moment

today I spent time with a friend

in the simple enjoyment of being together

sharing moments of our journeys

listening

responding

laughing

crying

touching

and I was reminded of a story

a true event

told by Jean Vanier

and I will quote from his writing

" A few years ago I visited a large institution in Brazil

It was about ten in the morning.

I was surprised to find a room

with about forty children with disabilities

still in their beds

and not one of them was crying.

Children only cry out when they know and hope

that someone will answer;

they will not waste their energies

if they are certain that nobody will hear.

They will close up in despair; they have no hope."

and I am deep in gratitude for those around me

those who hear me

those who touch me

those who heal me by accepting me

those who allow me to hear them

those who allow me to touch them

those who allow me to accept them

and again

I am filled with hope

so

hug someone

touch someone

listen to someone

and see

hear

and feel

this man Jesus

in the hug

in the touch

in the listening

table turning moment

while continuing to behold Jesus

through the eyes and words of John

I see again something new

while at the wedding

there was the possibility of a huge social faux pas

the hosts

friends of Jesus' mom

had miscalculated

and ran out of wine ........

this was very big in those days

Mary, the mother of this man Jesus,

simply brought this to His attention

not asking for Him to do anything about it

she simply spoke of it to Him

and then

she turned

saying quietly and confidently

to those around her

do whatever he tells you

there is much in those words

do whatever he tells you

without question

without hesitation

without understanding

do whatever he tells you

and then

this man Jesus

went to the water cisterns

these vessels

set aside for religious purposes only

sat apart by man for man's uses

and deliberately

overturned the tables of this religious practice

and caused these very cisterns

to be filled with celebratory wine

the best wine

an abundance of the best wine

so there is no need to ask Jesus to do anything

simply present our circumstance to Him

then

do everything he asks

while being prepared

for Him to overturn

all the religious tables

within our circumstance

who is this man Jesus

well moments

who is this man Jesus

although yet deep in the Lazarus scene

I have been watching Jesus' interaction

with the woman
at the well

it was noon

the hottest

most uncomfortable

moments of the day

the well

out in the open

no shade

exposed

the woman

shunned by all the other women

of her community

not welcome to gather
at the well with others

in the cool of the early morning

or the ease of the evening

forced to come

in the fiery heat

of mid day

Jesus was waiting

His friends having gone

to the shelter of the town

with its comforts

Jesus waited

in the heat

and the woman came

and this man Jesus

sat down

placing himself lower than the woman

from this non threatening

non authoritative position

he admitted his need
his frailty

his thirst

he asked her for help

all the while

knowing

the woman

he engaged her

from a position of vulnerability

and as she gave him water

he gave her life

this woman

used and abused

by her community

was resurrected

by a man

sitting in the heat of the day

tired and thirsty

a man who knew her

had waited for her

and then freed her

from her wrappings of death

as she ministered to

the thirst

and weakness

of his human body

who is this man Jesus

another Lazarus moment

here I am absolutely pooped
after being up all night in prayer
for this great land of Canada

and suddenly
Almighty God
unraveled yet another
piece of the Lazarus story

having already discovered
the two responses to Jesus' absence

and the desire to shelter
Jesus from something

and the offer of Jesus' hand
along the journey
to the place of burial

now I see
that Jesus called Lazarus
out of the cave of his death

asking those around him

those in relationship with him
to free him from his grave clothes

BUT

once unwrapped
Lazarus would be absolutely stark naked
in the midst of his community

and isn't that a sign of true community
a willingness to see
and accept
another's nakedness

and a willingness on our part
to be naked
in the midst of our community

or as a friend of mine was fond of preaching:
living without the fig leaf

choices moment

awoke in the night
thinking of the burqa

thinking of this land Canada

thinking of the choices tomorrow

how easy would it be
for a burqa to be slipped over our head

I know the restrictions of a burqa
but what would it consist of
what would it look like
how would it feel
would it be noticeable enough we would resist its acceptance

a burqa is afterall
simply a not so subtle form of control
to keep things hidden
restrict vision and movement

could it be there is already a
denominational burqa over some

God keep our land
glorious and free

how willing are we to stand on guard

have we fallen asleep on our watch
will we wake up in time

whose kingdom is coming

from sea to sea
and from the rivers to the end of the earth

rise up Oh mighty One
mark us as Yours
have mercy
place the covering of Your Holy Presence over us

communion moment

while immersed in communion last evening

the bread
held in the wine

red
entering every portion of white
soaking
softening

changing
through the process
of being entered

and I thought about my journey
the mountains
the valleys
the deserts
of the last few years

there was a season
of man exerting his will
and the storm of doubt that ensued
knocked me off balance for a bit

when I was hesitant to listen
to hear
to even seek
the Voice
the One

and these words tumbled out from deep inside

Living in a land of deep shadows
At the edge of the huge wingspan of a raging river

I have come to learn
I have come to lean and love

There is noise
But everything is quiet

I touch the seamless garment of silence

Night is leaving

I stand on the shore and watch
Feeling the weight of my life
Begin to drop
And I realize why dawn
Is called mourning

The rocks echo ancient rhythms
Heat slams into my skin

And I remain upright
Solely because the tendrils of my being
Cling to a cross

friday moment

today

while sitting across from one another

gently exploring

and sharing

there was a hearing

a touching

the Heart of God

'though the skies outside were grey

in this little corner office

the Son broke through

and there was such life

in the warmth of His Presence

it was just a moment

and could have been so easily missed

yet this moment

changed the course of my day

and this too

was church

would you moment

Jesus

when winter lingers

and I need to feel the spring

would you awaken the song

within me

who is he moment

arrived home yesterday
after four days
immersed
in the teaching
and the Presence
of the Lord

although entirely devoted to Jesus,
His Father
and Spirit
for years and years

I am now left burning with the question

just who is this man Jesus

all that I thought I understood
had discovered
had accepted
had been taught

barely begins to unfold
the mystery
of this man Jesus

because of being away
our community
who weekly
comes together
around the table
did not take place yesterday
Sunday

and so
this evening
in the midst of our gathering
as a centrepiece
on the table

I will place my question

who is this man Jesus

2nd church moment

so, here we are
one week later

we, who were 18 last week
have morphed into 32 ………
including a 4 day old
our California friends
and our houseguest

as the door kept opening
I soon realized
we are now too many to even think of fitting around a table
let alone having enough dishes
knives, forks or spoons

and so there was an eating in shifts of sorts
really made no difference

there was still an abundance
of food
of joy
of music
of laughter

no one’s plate remained empty for long

more importantly
every hunger was met

I started to jokingly ponder
the need to set up a committee
a building programme
hire a nursery worker

but then ……………

we simply laughed

and worshiped

and prayed

and loved

and laughed some more

and church today was glorious

bread moment

last evening was spent with some very special people
it was in 1995
this gentle couple shared
a message of love
a simple message really
and yet one perhaps because of its very simplicity
so many are unable to grasp
to believe it is that simple
that true

a California pastor
his wife
and mother of their three boys

this beautiful couple
in love with each other
in love with their Father
His Son
and Holy Spirit

it has not always been easy for them
pastoring never is
marriage brings its own set of challenges
parenting too

and there is the cancer
that invaded his body
but never his spirit

while sitting under their teaching
back in 1995
my heart started to beat with a new rhythm
and my life was
still is
forever changed

after three days
they went back to California

it was a year and a bit
before I realized
I had never said thank you

so I wrote
just a short note

to my great surprise
and deep delight
they responded

we have communicated ever since

through their sons
one by one
leaving the nest

through the change in pastorates
and then again
and then again

through the cancer

through the loss of their funny tree climbing dog

and now
this couple
who taught me so much
have come
from the warmth of California
to the ice and cold of Ottawa
asking me to teach them
of the poustinia

we prayed last evening
the words suggested by Jesus

Our Father
In heaven
Holy is Your Name
Your Kingdom come
Your will be done
Here, this moment, in us, on earth
As it is in heaven
Give us this day
Our daily bread

and we stopped
in the realization
that our bread for the day
was simply being together
in the Presence of our Father

waiting

and I wonder now
while they yet sleep
what my bread will be this day

Lazarus moment

for several years now I have had this rumbling in my spirit
about the death and resurrection of Lazarus
I study and study
ask questions
read
search out hidden truths

much has been learned
yet still I have been unable to move away from that passage

just yesterday
another piece was unraveled

Martha ran to Jesus with her
“where were you!” words

Mary waited until Jesus asked for her
but then
she greeted Him with exactly the same words

the same words
but so hugely different

the difference being these same words
came from 2 disparate hearts

Martha spoke words of accusation
Mary spoke words of wondering

but it is the next thing that happened
that is new to me

Jesus asked
“where have you buried him? – take me there”

their response was an expressed desire to shelter Jesus
from the stench of death

is there an area, a time, an event
that has caused something in me to flicker
even to die

and is Jesus asking me to take Him there
so that He can call forth life

have I not been willing to take Jesus
into that situation
thinking to shelter Him from the stench of it

is He now asking
to go with me
Hand in hand
to that very spot

so life can come forth

fruit moment

thinking over the last few days

about the difference between success

and fruitfulness .........

with success comes strength, control

perhaps respectability

rewards

fame ..

fruit on the other hand

is produced through vulnerability

weakness

a child is conceived

in vulnerability

community is the fruit born

through shared brokenness

intimacy is the fruit born

through touching one another's wounds

success might bring momentary happiness

but it is the taste of fruit

that brings sustaining joy

church moment

yesterday we gathered around a table
yes, there was yet another turkey
with all the stuff that goes alongside such a bird

but our focus was not the turkey

there was a caring
a listening
a touching

these were all deep thinking people
and there was a respecting
an honoring
of one another’s thoughts
a seeking to hear and to understand
sometimes with a gentle challenge
sometimes with a nod in agreement

I asked each one
to share the desire of their heart

and there was such beauty
as these tiny jewels were tenderly exposed in our midst

there were no grandiose “world peace” words

these were simple
pure
open
cries of the heart

not surprising really
it was a cry of loneliness
that fell from the heart
of the one who had been
and always will be
a pastor

it was this cry that seemed to catch fire around the table
tears started to flow from many eyes
hearts softened and opened and enlarged

although already 18
around a table designed for 12
instinctively we pulled our chairs closer to one another

there was a physical touching
a spiritual touching

it was shared that the seeking of love
from a position of loneliness
can be fraught with danger

suffocation can result

there is only One who can satisfy this cry
and we determined to seek Him together
to love one another
while pursuing the One who is Love

a guitar was gently strummed
fingers tapped on the stretched skin of a drum
lips kissed a flute
a song was beautifully breathed over us
as we cared for one another

and so
for many hours
through the day
into the evening

around the table

with the breaking of bread
and the drinking of wine

we had church

we were the church

and although around separate tables today
we remain
the church

new moment

attended a wedding last night
fancy clothes
eating, dancing and laughing through midnight -

was it prophetic?

the bride being the Bride

as I think of everyone
I pray for something much deeper than a happy new year
I pray for joy
I pray for healing
I pray for unfolding of destinies
I pray for fulfilling of hearts' desires
I pray for wisdom
I pray for discovery of identity
I pray for intimacy
I pray for much much touching
I pray for love - given and received
I pray for acceptance
I pray for understanding
I pray for reconciliation
I pray for unity

I pray for the bride
to be the Bride.