Tuesday, June 13, 2006

separating moment

it is difficult to leave friends and family
and deliberately practice the art of solitude
for an hour
a day
a week

parting is like a painful amputation
a limb being torn off
and yet
there is a quality to being alone
that is incredibly precious
and afterwards
life rushes back in richer
more vivid
fuller than before
and I am whole again

more whole than ever before

it is not a desert
or a wilderness that cuts me off from the people I love

it is the wilderness in my mind
the desert in my heart
where I wander lost
a stranger to myself

when out of touch with myself
I cannot touch others

there are times when shaking hands with friends
I feel the wilderness stretching between us

for me
my core
my inner spring
is best re-found through solitude

so many are frightened of being alone
they never let it happen

instead of planting our own dream blossoms
in the garden of our life
we choke the space with music
and chatter
to which we do not even listen
it is simply there to fill the vacuum
and when the noise stops
there is no inner music to take its place

in this life being alone is considered suspect
when one has to apologize for it
make excuses
hide the fact
but certain springs are tapped only when alone
and there is a need to learn to still the soul in the midst of its activities
in order to feed the soul

as the tide of life recedes
there is opportunity for a shedding of pride
false ambitions

the only real security is not in owning
or possessing
not in demanding
or expecting
not even in hoping

security is found in living in the present
and accepting it
as it is

there is joy in the now
peace in the here
and love in me
all part of the kingdom of heaven on earth

every single day
I make a fresh beginning
Jesus is a God whom we can approach
without pride
and before whom
we can humble ourselves
without despair
Blaise Pascal


mary said...

"when out of touch with myself, I cannot touch others"

Andrea; this poem and the one before it are both written in a way I wish I could have expressed. Thank-you for sharing this gift.
You are a treasure from HIS Sea...

Andrea said...

thank you Mary for receiving and holding my stumbling words with such care - it is somehow comforting to know there are others who share and understand my wandering wonderings