awakening moment

it is amazing
that on this day
March 31
I have been able to work in the garden

carefully picking up the dead
and uncovering life

and it is so very good
to see the abundance of life

even the pond has resurfaced
after kicking off its blanket of ice

one dead fish came floating up
but all in all
I am strengthened by the newness
the green
the awakening

and I recall that it was March 23, 2003
in the lane by the church
the one
who lost her way

and thinking she was warm
lay down in the snow
to sleep
and never awaken

and it was at that time
I put some words on paper
in her memory

her name meant
beloved of the cross

and I am reminded again of
how it was the thinking she was warm
and thus safe
that enabled her to sleep

and how deceived she was

words in scripture
tell of the lukewarm church
and how they were deceived
in their warmth

there is an importance
of not being deceived
into thinking I am in a place of safety
in a position of warmth

and all this brings me strength
to take the step
that needs to be taken

Jesus marked the path
with drops of His blood

The Hand of the Gardener

I began to stir in the pulling
the uncovering
by a Hand so gentle

at first I did not welcome the awakening
in the cold I had fallen asleep
lulled into feeling warm
I slept in iciness

hidden under a blanket of hopes and dreams
that had slowly
like the used up leaves of fall
dropped one by one to the ground

until in my nakedness
with nothing left to offer
I slept
into death

then the Hand of God
pulling at the covering of what had been
frozen in the tears of not understanding
encrusted with scars of rejection

eyes swollen shut in silent anguish
fists clenched in the pain of despair
feet bloodied from traveling stony ground
muscles cramped in the smothering of tradition

I tried to withdraw
to sink deeper into my sleeping death
only to be thawed in a shower of His tears

fearfully, hesitantly
daring to stretch from beaten down to erect
I began to grasp at the warmth of the Son
as icy death melted in the heat of His breath

roots dormant for so long
in the darkness of this drawn out season
twitched
and reached towards Life

things are not as they seemed
what was dead has life

for such a time as this

March 23, 2003