first moments

yesterday there were a few firsts

a first time in many years attending a different fellowship
not as a speaker
or simply to encourage
or having been asked to "do" something
but simply attending
looking for a place
to listen to my God

and then with our 'round the table community
we all joined in our first tenebrae service

we came together mid day as usual
worshiped, ate, laughed, cried,
worshiped, ate, laughed, cried
all centered on and rooted in the Word

because of the numbers now
eating in shifts is the norm
and so it is that there is constant worship
constant laughter
constant conversation
constant touching

and we were blessed by the sounds of a new instrument
and also by the one who sat quietly with her paints at an easel

and as the outside light faded
we joined together in a tenebrae service

tenebrae is a latin word meaning shadows
the purpose of a tenebrae service to recreate the emotional aspects of the passion

it is not a happy service: the occasion is not a happy occasion

sometimes this service takes place on Good Friday
but as we had determined as a community
to discover and experience deeply over forty days
the passion with its surrounding events
this was our way of entering this season

we had communion together
then turned out all the lights

30 readings from scripture had been prepared
and distributed during the week -
these scriptures had all been meditated upon
different ones chose a reading ........

in our centre was the table
with 30 candles surrounding a large white burning candle
all lit

as each one read their passion scripture
a candle was extinguished
until only the one white center candle was burning

then Psalm 22: 1-18 was read
and the remaining candle put out

leaving us in darkness

not a word was spoken
not a note was sung

in deep deep silence
people left one by one

the purpose of the service fulfilled
recreating the betrayal
abandonment
and agony of the events

leaving it unfinished
because the story is not over
until the tomb is emptied